Feelin Incomplete....

Hmm..for the last few dayz i've been having this weird feeling..have been extremely sad..therz that urge in me to overcome the probs n carry on wit Life like nothin happened..but well easier said than done!!!

Though I'm xtrrrrrrreeeeeeeeemeeeeely tied up wit wrk..I'm lookin for some kinda vent????(wats the word..sheesh my english has gone for a toss) n wat better medium than my blog..

I'm angry about somethin...can't place it..not sure if my anger is justified also..but..Is it a problem with me?in terms of my expectations?Am i bein unresonable?n gettin myself into misery unnecessarily?Not sure...

We went to Shiv Ganga..n therz this theory about that place..therz a very deep hole with a very small opening and if one puts her hand in it one should get water..If one doesn't then..(s)he is a sinner..now I was the only one who din get any water in my hands..n I'm feelin sick about it..It mite sound down right silly to say I believe in such things..but some small part of me does...n deep inside i know my sins..n feel awful n unforgiveable about it!

Went to donate blood the other day..n for the 4th time in my Life..I was told I was unfit to do so...felt so bloody useless..the guyz I work with r such an awesome bunch...among many reasons jus to make me feel better we went to have icecream at corner house...Its at these times that i think its not valid for me to complain...

But still...Life's been this way...in which ppl who matter the world to u don care that much for u..but ppl who u expect nothin out of...well.. they get u back on track in life n keep u goin..

I've made or m makin some big decisons in Life...I'm hopin they r for the gud n i stick by them..i know these r goin to b the hardest decisions to follow but well..no harm in tryin..whn u bruise urself once u bcom stronger n thats the best way to learn!

Pavi...

PS:As far as I can recollect this is the first blog wher so much of information has been left as a puzzle...somehow m scared by talkin abt it i ll let out my deep dark secrets!!!

Finally arose from my hibernation…

I ended my last blog sayin..Hope this year continues to be beautiful…the way things are goin…well m worried I ll be greedy if I ask for more…
I’m on cloud no. nine…totally elated…Touchwood….the magic should go on n on…
Where do I start…
Well as I Had written..upto Jun 25th it was study time…slogged it off..n was sick n tired of it…then finished my xam..of the 4 papers 2 were decent ..one I cldn’t predict n one was bad!..Tarun had cme down frm Delhi so met up wit him n chilled out the day r xam got over..Nam n S came down too…Sums was also in blr..was hard to please everyone n felt bad that I cldn’t spend time with everyone as much as I wanted..Went to Cauvery Fishing Camp with frenz..it was a gr8 experience..was loads of fun..somethin I’m gonna remember for a long long time…went to Hypnos n got drunk..div n me..it was crazy ..it was fun…n all of ‘em left Blr in no time…
Was hard n depressin to get back to the routine n mundane life..our Symbi exams started on 17th Jul…was study time again..n those 6 weeks upto aug 21st was tryin….u could say almost killin..there wasn’t a day when we(Div n me..Thank God..she was there..otherwise I think I would have killed myself!!!) wished n hoped that there was more Life in our Lives!!!In between frm Aug 1st-21st did something which well..i don wanna write here..but was a different experience..gud in many wayz..n not so gr8 in many wez..anewez..it ll be one of the wild things Pavithra did!!!Aug 21st…..YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..xams over….chillax time..party time!!!!
N ya the awesome news that I said I had got n cldn’t yet share(in a earlier blog of mine)…I’m gonna become an Aunt…oh yeah..my sis is gonna have a li’l angel….I can’t wait for Dec..thats when the beauty is due…..I want to scream frm the top of the world..keepin my fingers crossed for everything to be jus fine
Its been a year since I saw my grandfolks..n of course I can’t miss a single chance that I get to see my sis…so went to Chennai over the weekend…took 3 days off frm wrk..was a gud time lazin n doin nothing..only 2 things were a pain..the heat n the rumor that CSQA results were about to be out anytime……I think I could have died coz of my nervousness!
There hasn’t been a day in the recent past when I hvn’t prayed to clear my results…it matters so much..coz a) I have NEVER EVER flunked any exam b) I don hv the mental or physical strength to go thru the whole thing all over again..CSQA is freakin strenuous..
The previous weekend was gud..sums had come down..went out with frenz..n was basically gud…came to office on Monday(yesterday)…not sulkin but at the same time wasn’t feelin gr8 abt wrk…n wats the mail I see… “CONGRATS FOR CSQA”…whoaaaa…m not kiddin..I cleared CSQA….wat a brilliant way to start the week..Thanks..to all who believed in me n God…feels simply AWESOME….its mom’s b’day..n that makes it the perfect day to get the newz..Div n I are feelin gr8..i guess thats how it is to be on top of the world..I'm in no mood to come down to earth so...
Hope we clear r symbi xams too…that won’t be worth takin up again…Endin on the same note…wish this magic touch lasts…forever n ever…

Lucky Me :-)
(Touchwood!!!)

Its B'day month:-)))

When Sowmya called from Pune to wish me for my B'day she said she could see the excitement n blush on my face rgdg my B'day all the way frm ther..she said the only thing missin was a lollipop in my mouth!!!But wat the hell 1 out of 365 days is all mine..n even if i grow 100 yrs old(For the record I don't want to live that long) I ll be excited about my B'day n I think that should be the case with everybody...
I thought 5th May is not gonna b all that excitin this year coz ther wasnt much to do..I ve alwez celebrated my B'day with my collg frenz n most of 'em are not in Blr nor is my sis so...But I turned out to be wrong..MY CVG frenz are simply the best...they never fail to make me feel special...Mush wrote a poem for me last year n a beautiful story this year..I was on cloud nine...Most of 'em called n wished me at 12 in the nite..
Lunched at Grahmin with Div n Plumpy..Recappin all ol' memories..
n in the evng my dear ol' frend Div had arranged this surprise thingy for me..If not for her...my B'day wouldn't have been half as intrestin...Thnx Div!!!!We had soo much fun n I reached home at 12 AM,May 6th..Wat a beautiful day May 5th was.....
The next day I went with my new project team to a resort n had a ball of a time again....
Our office has asked us to do CSQA(Quality certification) exam..Its gonna be damn hard..but with some blessings n luck n of crse hard wrk we should be able to make it..The next 2 months is gonna be study time n then again after June 25th(xam date) its gonna be fun time with so many of my collg frenz n S cmg down to Blr...
Life has been a roller-coaster..Touchwood!!!Hope this year continues to be beautiful....

Cheers
Pavi:-)

Apr '05

First Fortnight....

Mar 30th I finally left to Delhi..it was Dads as well as my first flight journey ..I had sponsored the tickets for mom n dad n was so happy about it...
Was gonna see Sums(my sis)after almost a year.(I last saw her in May '04)..was damn excited...The flite was abt 30 mins late..n then finally we landed..hugs n kisses n then drove home..I gave her the digicam I got for her..n she was angry with me..she yet thinks i'm a kid..n din like the idea of her kiddo sis buyin somethin so expensive..But it was worth it coz for the first time I saw tears of happiness...
Met up with Tarun had laods of fun...Did loads n loads n loads..... of shoppin..Sums got me my first business suit.Went to Vaishno devi n Kulu Manali...Played with snow for the first time in my life..In Vaishno devi we slept in the queue coz we were so dead tired after walkin...This was my best holiday with my family..God knows if one better than this will ever happen...Moments I will treasue for ever n ever..
n then it was 14th apr..time to get back to Blr n normal life....It was confusion at the airport..they said our flight at 2:30 was cancelled n ther was one only at 8 PM..n after lots of runnin around we boarded another flight at 5 PM...We landed in Blr n got our lugggage out whn it started pourin..the typical Blr weather..Was happy n glad to be back in MY CITY!!

Second Fortnight

Apr 15th..Back to work....In an hours time of reachin office I got to know that I was promoted..My first Promotion...Was glad...I was shifting into a new role/responsibility...something I had been asking for had finally materialized...All nice things were happenin..Touchwood...In the evening we checked our Symbi reults n voila...We(Div,Sums n I) had passed...Too gud to be true..Thank God..the day was beautiful!!!!
n work has been hectic but good...Heard soem really good news..Can't yet say wat it is..But prayin for it to come true..April has been an AWESOME month...hope it carries on thru the year...
Am waitin for May for more than one reason....


Cheers
Pavs

Feb n Mar '05

The month of Feb n March was tirin..Symbi xams..Gosh the journey to the xam centre was so long n tirin n the xams were worse..We(Div n I) had forgotten wat it was to party n hv fun..the last time we partied was Jan 22nd..ther were 2 reasons why we din party after that..xam time n S had left to Delhi..n well I can't seem to remb the last time I had a nite out without S(i guess thats thnx to Div) but somehow I too had gotten used to him being around..The only thing that kept us goin was the trip we had planned to Delhi...
n Finally it was Mar 19th..last xam..kinda disastrous(the 2nd worst)..but who cares..xams were finallly over!!!WE chilled out in Forum that evenin..n the following week shopped for Delhi trip...dreamt n planned n waited with eagerness...Div left on 26th mar..That was a lonely weekend..parents were not in Blr..was alone at home for 3 days..but for some weird reason it din bog me down..n finally 30th Mar....

Tired Me!!!!