Everything Does Happen for the Best

Those who know me…know that I take on the role of playing “Aunt Agony” often n can go on endlessly with my gyaan. A blogger friend who I recently added on gtalk will vouch for this. This post is mainly for her and I would like to share this story with the rest of u all as well.

So yeah..my gyaan sessions almost always ends with “Keep the smile and faith. Remember Everything Happens for the Best”. I’m not sure how or by whom this idea about everything happening for the best got into my head. But it did and even back in school days I remember saying and believing in it strongly. This is what pulls me thru’ a zillion hard situations in life. But one situation made me Q this thought..

2004
When I started working, I had a colleague, let’s call her ‘A’. We were initially just that, colleagues and went on to become good friends. We would talk endlessly and confide in each other. She shared with me an incident that had happened to her sister about 2 months back. Her sister, say ‘S’, was seeing a guy n the 2 of ‘em were supposedly madly in love with each other. They had told parents on either side abut the relationship and sought agreement to marriage. They were waiting for A to get married as she was the elder one and then planned to get married themselves. The details of their love story was simply so beautiful. The guy was into trekking and hiking and other adventure sports and was visiting Bangalore for one such trekking expedition. He lost balance and fell off the cliff. He didn’t survive. S’s life became empty. The families were shattered. It was unbelievable that, he could be snatched away like that… Just like that!
When I heard this story…I couldn’t say my fav words, words that I believed in so much.. “Keep the smile and faith. Remember everything happens for the best”. I felt weak and couldn’t face S. Inside my brains I really struggled , trying to find a reason, draw some explanation as to what good would come.

2006
S met another guy, ‘G’, who she fell in love with. Then began the process of her faith in life being restored.Things started looking sunny n beautiful again.

I begun to gain back the faith in my fav words. Mabbe they were true.

2008
S and G got married in Feb. They look so happy n content together! Touchwood!

And I 2nd and 3rd the words “Keep the smile and faith. Remember Everything Happens for the Best”. There is a reason why God chooses to make happen all that happens. It’s important to trust, do our bit and leave the rest to him.

PS : Story -Telling is not my skillset, pls u'stand that thats not wat this post is about.

Doubts and Feedback

Doubts

I have been blogging since Dec 2004, but donno much about blosphere. I am lazy and din’t feel like googling , so I thot I would get my doubts clarified by you guys ..

1. When I post a comment on some of ur blogs I get prompted to enter some random text before I can hit on the submit button. I find it very irritating, coz I rarely manage to get those letters right the 1st time. Any idea why those letters appear? Does it appear for all of u all as well? Any suggestions on how I can avoid them?

2. Is there a way that I can get an alert each time you update ur blog?

3. Some blogs are “private”. For such blogs can I approach the blogger n ask for permission to read the blog or is it wrong to ask coz the author would invite the readers whom they are okay with sharing their blogs anyway?

4. How does one put up polls? (I don’t plan to put up one, but might sometime in the future!)

5. How does one add a ‘C-Box’ ? C-Box works like an instant messenger, right? (I don’t plan to add one, but am curious!)

6. In a couple of comments I read discussions on people (not) getting “Feeds”. What are these Feeds?

7. How do I give out Awards?

8. What must I do to get awards ? ;-)

Feedback

Please be frank, I appreciate honesty. I will try my best to make changes based on the feedback I get from you. Kindly don’t be rude

1. Do u wish I got rid of the exclamation marks by my name?

With Respect to blogging, please complete the following :

1. U wish I would start..

2. U wish I would stop…

3.U wish I continued..


Thanks for clarifying my doubts and giving me ur feedback.

To Have or Not To Have

A few weeks back I saw the movie Juno. I enjoyed it. For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, its about a 16-year old getting pregnant and having a baby and finally giving up the baby for adoption.

I thought it takes talent to handle such a serious subject in such a light-hearted manner. The movie was fun. The dialogues were great. The screenplay writer was a 1st timer and she was a stripper before she came into Hollywood. She won an oscar for the movie. Ellen Page rocks! She’s so cute n peppy , looks 16 yrs old and was nominated for an oscar!
If u’ve seen the Hindi movie “kya kehna” which handles the same subject..u’ll u’stand when I say this movies is sooooo much better!

One common thread of discussion that came up whoever I spoke to about the movie..is , the movie is so not to be seen by teenagers, specifically American teenagers. They’ll think life is sooo easy! Get knocked up, have ur baby (its just 9 mths of trouble) and give away the baby to someone lese. Even the way the parents’ in the movie react when their daughter tells ‘em that she is pregnant is weird! They are too cool . I can’t even imagine what my parents would have done to me if I had gone to them with this kinda news at the age of 16 when I was in class X.!

I was watching some TV show on the movie and heard that the movie was made to spread the msg that “Abortion is to be avoided. Abortion is not the only solution to teenage pregnancies. Teenage pregnancies are bad, but not end of the world. There is an alternate solution available.” So the Q for u all is: To Have or Not Have the Baby?

Yeah, abortion as such does sound wrong. Two people have sex (or a few rare cases make love) and by-mistake create a new being. As this li’l one was not a part of their plans they want to destroy the baby! Its not the baby’s fault!All Beings are created by God and it is incorrect to abort….actually KILL the baby before (s)he is born. Rite? MABBE!

Though I haven’t been thru’ it I am sure giving birth to a baby isn’t all that easy for any woman.I don't think it is essential for me to explain what a nightmare life would be if the teenage mother chooses to keep the baby. Bringing up a child is obviously not easy. I’ve heard and agree that the mother develops a unique bond with the li’l one and it won’t be so easy to give it up to some strangers or friends and carry on with life like nothing happened at the end of those 9 mths. Me thinks it would haunt a mother for a long time if not all thru’ her life .She would want to know where n how her baby is doing. But let’s assume the teenage mother doesn’t really feel that bond for the baby and is ready to give it up…

Even then, I’m pretty sure 9 months doesn’t fly by when one is pregnant. For starters ur body is going to look weird and behave weirder. Society is going to ridicule you. It won’t be as easy to go back to school/college and NORMAL life. The after-effects will remain for many years before the gurl can get back to regular living and the baby-incident fades from the minds of society. So, Abortion is the best solution. Rite? MABBE!

Me Me Me !

This title ‘coz hubby n I often tease each other saying “Me Me Me” in a particular sing-song manner if we feel either one of us are talking too much about ‘emselves. I feel I’m talking too much about myself now;-)

Aneri tagged me to list 7 weird things about me and solitaire tagged me to list 5 things I love about me.. Here I Go

WEIRD ME….

1. Has NEVER EVER watched a cartoon. I donno, I can’t comprehend them! I don’t read comic strips as well! Never read an Archies book ! But I loooooooove Calvin Hobes! He’s so easy to u’stand and so much fun!
2. Has not watched Matrix, Independence Day, or ANY animated movie till date. Me thinks animated movies will be boring, I have never tried to see one!
3. Looooooooooooooves ketchup so much that I can have pretty much anything on the planet with ketchup. EG: I think fortune cookies tastes awesome with ketchup!
4. Can’t remember ever having played any video games!
5. Doesn’t like boiled egg. N I have never tasted it! It’s just the look. Cauliflower, capsicum, and mushroom used to be part of the list of things I have never tasted but don’t like. But now I’ve tasted these and actually like Gobi! BTW, I love scrambled egg n omlette.
6. Is not too sure if I can ride a bicycle! I love walking and as a child a whole bunch of us would walk to and from school. Those who had cycles would push the cycle. I recollect having tried to learn to ride a cycle, but I’m not sure if I succeeded! I’m tooooo scared to try riding a bicycle now and confirm my skills!
7. Use to sleep-walk and sleep-talk. These days I only sleep-talk!

LOVE ME… ‘coz

1. I’m a genuinely nice person and can smile thru’ any situation. I find it hard to be mean to people unless they go to great extents of annoying me!
2. If a friend is in need, I will do ANYTHING I can to help them in the situation. For starters I’ll lend my ears n shoulders!
3. I’m really open-minded! I feel there is a reason behind any act and that one act doesn’t make a person good or bad. If I think the act is wrong, I’ll explain what I think to you, but I won’t criticize the “person” that you are.
4. I’ll make the effort to “Be in Touch”. If we are friends, I’ll make the initiative of keeping in touch, never miss ur B’day or any day that matters to u! I’ll drop a note , if I cant call you “Just Like That” every once in a while.
5. I’m fairly sensible when it comes to managing my finances! U won’t find me without a decent “savings” balance

Striking the Balance

Most women struggle to strike the balance between their career and family. I do! I want to be successful in my career and be a good home-maker!

But this post is not about the typical balance that married women must strike. Work at office during the day, cook 3 meals, manager their babies and blah blah blah… This could be topic for another post…

This post is about husbands’ n wives who work in different cities. It’s about long-distance relationships – between spouses, between parent’s n children. Below are some real-life examples of couples I know

-> India: This was a love marriage and they are a wonderful couple. They met at the call Center they both worked for. After marriage the guy got a better job in city “x” in India and the girl continues to work in City “y”. They visit each other over weekends. They celebrated their 2nd wedding anniversary, and their lifestyle continues to be the same.
-> India: They were married for about a year. He got a job in Country “X”. She was pregnant. Had their baby at her mother’s place in city “Y”. Has returned to her job in City “Z” and visits the baby over weekends.Mom, Dad n child - each in a different place.
-> USA: She is pregnant and works in state “x”. Her husband works in state “y”. She has spent a lot on her education in the US and is trying to earn back some amount!She was so gullible, I couldn’t help feel sorry for her.
-> USA: She works in state “x”. Her husband and son are at state “y”. Her 2 or 3 yr old daughter is in India. She visits her husband and son alternate weekends. They have a EAD.

I know for sure, none of these couples feel good about this situation in their lives.
Is it worth it? …I don't think so.
This is just what I feel, and am not judging any1, coz i u'stand each family knows why they make the decisions that they do. But the way I look at thier situations is :

-> If you have to work in a call center in India I’m sure both of you can find a job in the same city.
-> Are you not spending all the money you earn on travel, 2 rents, phone calls etc?
-> Many Indians say people in US do it, why can’t we? Well, the Indians in USA do it coz of work permit issues. It’s not so easy here for both spouses to find a job in the same city. Is there a valid reason to be doing so in India?
-> When I’M pregnant, I want to be pampered. Have my husband by my side. It’s something every woman deserves!
-> My baby will grow up with his/her ma AND pa

My situation

I came to the US 6 months after I got married. During this 6 months, We had 3 months of long-distance relationship. (Me in India, He in USA) Once I came here(half the battle fought), I used to travel (out of the state) on work every Monday morning and return on Thrusday nights. Then for a brief period when I seemed to have got a long-term project, We moved to a different city and I worked from 8 to 5 .Vinod worked from home and traveled on work, week-by-week basis. But that was not meant to be, my project got over. My next project I traveled 3 hrs one way on work. N now We both work from home. I travel on work once in 1 or 2 months and Vinod travels once in 2 weeks.

It’s definitely not a fun/easy thing, but things have improved since the last 1 year. I find it hard to decide if its worth it ..’coz I don’t want to sit at home, I want to work. But I want a home as well. Is it too much to ask for? I will continue to do this as long as I can and then give up, when some other things will take higher priority in our lives.