My li'l Angel arrives...

I'm finally an aunt...Yipeeeeeeeeeeeee!My sis had a baby boy on the 15th of Dec.The li'l angel is a sheer beauty...it never tires me to keep lookin at him..n well..as of now he's a sleepin beauty..all that he does is sleep!!lucky chap..wish I too could do that!On 25th was his namin cermony..n he's called Rishab...Rishab G Chari...i think it sounds cool :-)Jus hope n pray that he becomes a gud human being and is able to hold his own in this big bad world!

Hmmm...this is my last blog for this year....n retrospecting on the year gone by...well..2005 has been mostly a decent year..a few fun trips..the best holiday till date with my family..loads n loads of studies(thnx to Symbi n CSQA)..gud on the workfront..actually nothin too eventful..n thats gud in a a way...Compared to wat 2004 was..and 2006 is goin to be..it was the perfect break!

But somehow as the year comes to an end there is this depressing feeling..though most things around me are goin gud.I'm not sure why i go thru this syndrome pracically every year!Is it the same wit any of u all?Or am i sufferin from some disease?!?!

Yup..I think 2006 is goin to be a big year for me...m xpecting lot of things to happen..personal life as well as professional life...Will leave everyone to speculate on wat's about to happen...but while u speculate make sure u don forget to send a silent prayer for everything to be gud...

Wishin everyone on planet earth a beautful 2006...Hope n pray that only the best happens in each one of ur lives!

Cheers & Smiles
Pavi

Happy B'day to my Blog!!!

A year back after lots n lots of persuasion Plumpy created "Shorty Speaks" for me...now its been a year..n my blog has managed to stay alive!!! i.e. even if I don do regular updates...i come back once in a while to pen or rather key my thoughts....

The year gone by has been mostly good...a few fun trips...lots n lots of studies...n good though hectic on the work front..n of crse loads of weddings..Since mid-Nov I've been attendin a weddin every weekend!!!

As for the last month..well..time for Symbi xams....so have to study again boo hoo:-((( Don have much plans of celebratin New Year's this time...n well....of crse waitin for the li'l angel-my niece/nephew...the suspense is actually killin me...jus hopin n prayin for all to go well..

Guess the next time I ll be bloggin is to talk about the arrival of a beauty on this earth..so until then....

Happy Last month of 2005 to ya all....n keep the spirits high..coz Dec is a month for celebrations!!

Cheers
Pavs

Makin n Breakin of Relationships….

It jus doesn’t feel good…somehow seems so hard to pull along n say it ll all work out fine…well the truth is ..its not workin fine…n this time I want to be able to be strong n cope with things by myself independently…
I thought I was copin fine but somehow as days pass instead of the wound healin it jus seems to be getting worse..

Oct 12th-the day the BIG decision of not continuing the relationship was made..well wasn’t too easy to make but somehow din’t seem so hard also..but now I wish I was less stubborn, less egoistic, had less respect for myself n broke the promise to myself..coz I know that all that’s needed for getting the relationship back into place is a call from me.But some sensible part of me…guess that’s got to be the head..is saying U matter to Urself, so remain strong-willed.Temporary solutions are of no use,u ll again end up in pain, so don’t resort to the easy way out.Be as stubborn as u are n stick by ur promises, things WILL BE FINE in the long run…

Well I can’t wait for this so called period of ‘long run’,wish it starts soon.Wat makes things harder is the only point of venting out my feelings has been my pillow n of course my blog..its so much more easier when u cry to a friend, who ll put their arms around u n tell u to take things eazi n assure u that this world is a nice place and therz lots to hope for…This time around therz no one to give me that assurance..but I guess that’s the idea behind handling it independently!!!

Had a dream about me n 2 gud frenz of mine sittin on the swing in my balcony n chattin up…makes me feel sick coz these 2 ppl r no more the gr8 frenz that they were….it feels damn sick n empty…..

Before I used to cry sooooooooo easily…now-a-days even tears are hard to come…its jus making things harder for me coz…I donno..but I feel so relieved after a good bout of tears..now the sadness n sorrow is jus ther n well no way to let it out…

Want a break soooooooooo DESPERATELY..from LIFE!!!!

So all of this is about breakin relationships…the makin part….hmm

Two office colleagues of mine got married to the gurls they wer in lov wit after a lot of struggle…that’s something which makes me believe that if a relationship is true and meant to be ..It will be….

Hopin for better n keeping the faith….......

Pavi

Feelin Incomplete....

Hmm..for the last few dayz i've been having this weird feeling..have been extremely sad..therz that urge in me to overcome the probs n carry on wit Life like nothin happened..but well easier said than done!!!

Though I'm xtrrrrrrreeeeeeeeemeeeeely tied up wit wrk..I'm lookin for some kinda vent????(wats the word..sheesh my english has gone for a toss) n wat better medium than my blog..

I'm angry about somethin...can't place it..not sure if my anger is justified also..but..Is it a problem with me?in terms of my expectations?Am i bein unresonable?n gettin myself into misery unnecessarily?Not sure...

We went to Shiv Ganga..n therz this theory about that place..therz a very deep hole with a very small opening and if one puts her hand in it one should get water..If one doesn't then..(s)he is a sinner..now I was the only one who din get any water in my hands..n I'm feelin sick about it..It mite sound down right silly to say I believe in such things..but some small part of me does...n deep inside i know my sins..n feel awful n unforgiveable about it!

Went to donate blood the other day..n for the 4th time in my Life..I was told I was unfit to do so...felt so bloody useless..the guyz I work with r such an awesome bunch...among many reasons jus to make me feel better we went to have icecream at corner house...Its at these times that i think its not valid for me to complain...

But still...Life's been this way...in which ppl who matter the world to u don care that much for u..but ppl who u expect nothin out of...well.. they get u back on track in life n keep u goin..

I've made or m makin some big decisons in Life...I'm hopin they r for the gud n i stick by them..i know these r goin to b the hardest decisions to follow but well..no harm in tryin..whn u bruise urself once u bcom stronger n thats the best way to learn!

Pavi...

PS:As far as I can recollect this is the first blog wher so much of information has been left as a puzzle...somehow m scared by talkin abt it i ll let out my deep dark secrets!!!

Finally arose from my hibernation…

I ended my last blog sayin..Hope this year continues to be beautiful…the way things are goin…well m worried I ll be greedy if I ask for more…
I’m on cloud no. nine…totally elated…Touchwood….the magic should go on n on…
Where do I start…
Well as I Had written..upto Jun 25th it was study time…slogged it off..n was sick n tired of it…then finished my xam..of the 4 papers 2 were decent ..one I cldn’t predict n one was bad!..Tarun had cme down frm Delhi so met up wit him n chilled out the day r xam got over..Nam n S came down too…Sums was also in blr..was hard to please everyone n felt bad that I cldn’t spend time with everyone as much as I wanted..Went to Cauvery Fishing Camp with frenz..it was a gr8 experience..was loads of fun..somethin I’m gonna remember for a long long time…went to Hypnos n got drunk..div n me..it was crazy ..it was fun…n all of ‘em left Blr in no time…
Was hard n depressin to get back to the routine n mundane life..our Symbi exams started on 17th Jul…was study time again..n those 6 weeks upto aug 21st was tryin….u could say almost killin..there wasn’t a day when we(Div n me..Thank God..she was there..otherwise I think I would have killed myself!!!) wished n hoped that there was more Life in our Lives!!!In between frm Aug 1st-21st did something which well..i don wanna write here..but was a different experience..gud in many wayz..n not so gr8 in many wez..anewez..it ll be one of the wild things Pavithra did!!!Aug 21st…..YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..xams over….chillax time..party time!!!!
N ya the awesome news that I said I had got n cldn’t yet share(in a earlier blog of mine)…I’m gonna become an Aunt…oh yeah..my sis is gonna have a li’l angel….I can’t wait for Dec..thats when the beauty is due…..I want to scream frm the top of the world..keepin my fingers crossed for everything to be jus fine
Its been a year since I saw my grandfolks..n of course I can’t miss a single chance that I get to see my sis…so went to Chennai over the weekend…took 3 days off frm wrk..was a gud time lazin n doin nothing..only 2 things were a pain..the heat n the rumor that CSQA results were about to be out anytime……I think I could have died coz of my nervousness!
There hasn’t been a day in the recent past when I hvn’t prayed to clear my results…it matters so much..coz a) I have NEVER EVER flunked any exam b) I don hv the mental or physical strength to go thru the whole thing all over again..CSQA is freakin strenuous..
The previous weekend was gud..sums had come down..went out with frenz..n was basically gud…came to office on Monday(yesterday)…not sulkin but at the same time wasn’t feelin gr8 abt wrk…n wats the mail I see… “CONGRATS FOR CSQA”…whoaaaa…m not kiddin..I cleared CSQA….wat a brilliant way to start the week..Thanks..to all who believed in me n God…feels simply AWESOME….its mom’s b’day..n that makes it the perfect day to get the newz..Div n I are feelin gr8..i guess thats how it is to be on top of the world..I'm in no mood to come down to earth so...
Hope we clear r symbi xams too…that won’t be worth takin up again…Endin on the same note…wish this magic touch lasts…forever n ever…

Lucky Me :-)
(Touchwood!!!)

Its B'day month:-)))

When Sowmya called from Pune to wish me for my B'day she said she could see the excitement n blush on my face rgdg my B'day all the way frm ther..she said the only thing missin was a lollipop in my mouth!!!But wat the hell 1 out of 365 days is all mine..n even if i grow 100 yrs old(For the record I don't want to live that long) I ll be excited about my B'day n I think that should be the case with everybody...
I thought 5th May is not gonna b all that excitin this year coz ther wasnt much to do..I ve alwez celebrated my B'day with my collg frenz n most of 'em are not in Blr nor is my sis so...But I turned out to be wrong..MY CVG frenz are simply the best...they never fail to make me feel special...Mush wrote a poem for me last year n a beautiful story this year..I was on cloud nine...Most of 'em called n wished me at 12 in the nite..
Lunched at Grahmin with Div n Plumpy..Recappin all ol' memories..
n in the evng my dear ol' frend Div had arranged this surprise thingy for me..If not for her...my B'day wouldn't have been half as intrestin...Thnx Div!!!!We had soo much fun n I reached home at 12 AM,May 6th..Wat a beautiful day May 5th was.....
The next day I went with my new project team to a resort n had a ball of a time again....
Our office has asked us to do CSQA(Quality certification) exam..Its gonna be damn hard..but with some blessings n luck n of crse hard wrk we should be able to make it..The next 2 months is gonna be study time n then again after June 25th(xam date) its gonna be fun time with so many of my collg frenz n S cmg down to Blr...
Life has been a roller-coaster..Touchwood!!!Hope this year continues to be beautiful....

Cheers
Pavi:-)

Apr '05

First Fortnight....

Mar 30th I finally left to Delhi..it was Dads as well as my first flight journey ..I had sponsored the tickets for mom n dad n was so happy about it...
Was gonna see Sums(my sis)after almost a year.(I last saw her in May '04)..was damn excited...The flite was abt 30 mins late..n then finally we landed..hugs n kisses n then drove home..I gave her the digicam I got for her..n she was angry with me..she yet thinks i'm a kid..n din like the idea of her kiddo sis buyin somethin so expensive..But it was worth it coz for the first time I saw tears of happiness...
Met up with Tarun had laods of fun...Did loads n loads n loads..... of shoppin..Sums got me my first business suit.Went to Vaishno devi n Kulu Manali...Played with snow for the first time in my life..In Vaishno devi we slept in the queue coz we were so dead tired after walkin...This was my best holiday with my family..God knows if one better than this will ever happen...Moments I will treasue for ever n ever..
n then it was 14th apr..time to get back to Blr n normal life....It was confusion at the airport..they said our flight at 2:30 was cancelled n ther was one only at 8 PM..n after lots of runnin around we boarded another flight at 5 PM...We landed in Blr n got our lugggage out whn it started pourin..the typical Blr weather..Was happy n glad to be back in MY CITY!!

Second Fortnight

Apr 15th..Back to work....In an hours time of reachin office I got to know that I was promoted..My first Promotion...Was glad...I was shifting into a new role/responsibility...something I had been asking for had finally materialized...All nice things were happenin..Touchwood...In the evening we checked our Symbi reults n voila...We(Div,Sums n I) had passed...Too gud to be true..Thank God..the day was beautiful!!!!
n work has been hectic but good...Heard soem really good news..Can't yet say wat it is..But prayin for it to come true..April has been an AWESOME month...hope it carries on thru the year...
Am waitin for May for more than one reason....


Cheers
Pavs

Feb n Mar '05

The month of Feb n March was tirin..Symbi xams..Gosh the journey to the xam centre was so long n tirin n the xams were worse..We(Div n I) had forgotten wat it was to party n hv fun..the last time we partied was Jan 22nd..ther were 2 reasons why we din party after that..xam time n S had left to Delhi..n well I can't seem to remb the last time I had a nite out without S(i guess thats thnx to Div) but somehow I too had gotten used to him being around..The only thing that kept us goin was the trip we had planned to Delhi...
n Finally it was Mar 19th..last xam..kinda disastrous(the 2nd worst)..but who cares..xams were finallly over!!!WE chilled out in Forum that evenin..n the following week shopped for Delhi trip...dreamt n planned n waited with eagerness...Div left on 26th mar..That was a lonely weekend..parents were not in Blr..was alone at home for 3 days..but for some weird reason it din bog me down..n finally 30th Mar....

Tired Me!!!!

A simple Q...

Well this ones gonna b a real short blog...compared to my previous ones

Since V-Day have been ponderin over this question...Well for the record i dont believe in this Valentines Day concept..n hate all the hype created over it..I think its damn stoopid n well, has trivialized love...
Coming back to my Q....I have never known n completely been satisfied with any definition of love..but I read a certain definition rather Q about love in the paper..which has got me thinking...n that is ..
"What is the difference between the love one has for their parents/friends and the love one has for hmm..the so-called 'life-partner'?(Am not able to think of any other appropriate word)Is it only the physical aspect? "

I know for all of u in love n for those of you who are strong-believers of love, this would sound very wrong..but personally after lots n lots of thinking, havent been able to come up with a satisfying answer opposing this statement.

Pls feel free to let me know ur thoughts/opinions on this..infact plz plz plz...give me an ans!!!!!

love(n u readin rite)
Pavi

Jus Like That!

Hmm..Its about 11:22 PM 43 seconds and am in office.Dead tired...M waitin for some update from my boss..n dont feel like doin "WORK" so thought i ll add to my blog...So wat do i write about.....
Actually..its kinda weird...coz I ve notcied most ppl (including me) blog happy moments, sad moments or a couple of hi fi thoughts alias gyaan..so I thought of bloggin "Jus Like That".Nothin new or spl or sad or happy is happenin in Life..its the same ol' mundane routine.or probably its my fault that I have made it the same ol' routine!!!May be I'm not puttin in any effort to make Life intrestin for me...But how do i do that??????????
But hey.....Am damn excited about my Delhi Trip....Mar 30 8 PM m off to Delhi....cant' wait...Im gonna be seein my Sis..aftter about 10 mths..n Tarun..after more than a year..phew!!!!!

Yeah..Talkin about Tarun...I should add an important lesson Ive learnt..thnx to him..I remb he left Blr on Jun 28th '03..the 1st of my classmates to leave after exams..a day after the exam..hardly giving us any time to catch up n chill out with him..I cried like crazzy n felt really awful..coz somehow I had grown very close to him(Hes one of the most selfless helpful persons Ive known) n thought that was the last Im gonna see of him..n we would be in touch only for a lil while n it would gradually fade out..

Its the next day morn..Thought i ll finish this blog n then get started with work..so here goes...

Tarun n I managed to keep in touch.He came down in August for a short while n then left to London..Was depressed then too..thinking..with the seas between us..we cant really be the gr8 frenz we were in collg...But somehow..Tarun n I have ALWEZ been in touch...n hv been updated about each others lives..After the experience with him I believe distance is not all that gr8 a factor..If the relationship matters..distance can do nothing to it....
Of course when Some one whoz been a part of my daily life leaves Blr i yet feel bad...but not insecure not depressed..coz i know its upto us to make it last!
Thnx for this Valuable lesson tarun!!
"To meet n Depart is the Way of Life
To Depart n meet is the hope of Life"

Was I gonna write this blog "Jus Like That"..Initially I had nothin to write..well ther seems to be a zillion experiences n lessons n so much about Life that every thought n action brings in a memory....which one want to relive..

Bye until my next thought......

lov
Pavs!!!

Im so Loved…..

Ahh..I’m sorry if u guyz getting bored ..2 blog updates on same day..coz I don’t get to update it so often thanks to my work schedule….
Well my title probably has most of u thinking how pompous I am..but honestly..No that’s not the intention..This update is jus for me to read when Im down n think Im all alone in this world..n realize how stupid Im bein…n to make u all think of people who lov u..

To mention a few people who make me feel on cloud no 9 without any effort..

For starters my Mom..We may have a hazar quarrels..but shez alwez around for me..I feel really bad coz I ve somehow become so bizi with my own Life.but she waits n makes sure I have dinner even when I return at 12 PM from office..Thanks Mom(Though I know ur not gonna be reading this but I believe u ll somehow realize this is how I feel)

Then the most important person in my Life my Sis..Come wat may she is the world to me..n a large part of the person I am today is thanks to her…

N then my world of frenz..who give me happiness..
All of u guyz who love readin my blog..n ask me now n then for updates..

Hmm..Harish..well..he just has to know that therz something which ll make u happy..n if its within his scope..if its somethin he can do..he will do it..To take a recent example..Well he gives me missed at nite before he goes to work around 2 PM coz it jus kinda gives a kick-start to my day when i wake up the next morn n see his missed..
n yeah..If Harish is ur frend u get the complete package..the gud n bad..which is probably the best n worst part of it..Lov u Plumpy n sorry for u know wat!!!

Then..Div..coz of who Im probably yet walkin around as the Pavithra I was..She has been ther thru thick n thin..Literally!!!coz I have had maximum fun with her n I know I can turn to her when Im sad.We both have grown to care so much for each other..that even if its broad daylight..we give each other a missed to signify that we have reached home safetly(n to think one of my frenz thought I was checkin on her, when I asked her the same Q..That really broke my heart!!)
Div n S..Both of ‘em have alwez been so caring..When I hang out with ‘em I somehow feel Im in the company of a mature couple..who are such gud fun!We have been out to quite a few places together..Bryan Adams Show..coffee..n they have dropped me home so many times.Thnx guyz..seriously u donno the no. of times u ve made a diffenrence to a bad day..Hopin n Prayin for the 2 of u guyz..n my friendship with u!!!

N last but surely not the least Anu..the reason for me writin this blog..On Tursday I was in office till 11 PM..hvg an extra long n tiring day..n I jus wanted to read a gud thought before I left for the day..n so I opened anu’s mail which had the subject “ODE” expecting to read some good literatue..Only after I opened the mail did I realize..it was an ODE TO ME!!!!well words wouldn’t be enuf to express how I felt..Here is the poem she wrote for me..which she sez she couldn’t give a complimntary close to..

she is a little girl
with a big heart
it is her traits i unfurl
and here i start

Proud to call her "Dame Kindness",
Ah! she is so nice!
Verily gives out love in blindness
In short, she is a person without vice!!

Well..It made me realize wat matters is people who lov n care for u..It is important to acknowledge n feel gud about the lov u receive rather than wastin tears on lov which u yearn to get..It is necessary to give love to receive it..but is it possible practically to give without expecting anything in return????Guess that calls for another blog….

So until the next time..
Pavs

To Bindu n Viv

For those who don’t know who these 2 people are..Bindu is one of my closest skool frenz..a crazily sane gurl..n viv….well trust me none of u would believe me if I told u how we became frenz..but hez one awesome frend..n hmm..the craziest guy on the surface of this earth!!!!

Now y am I suddenly dedication a blog to ‘em..hmm..coz they made the 5th of Jan ’05 one of the most precious memorable dayz for me..n a hazar other things…Well we went out for dinner that day..Viv treated us at Leela..The grandeaur of the restaurant is not wat makes it memorable for me but the tour Viv gave us round the place..(U agree with me on that Bindu?) He took us to the Leela kitchen n all over the place n then when I fell of the stairs both of ‘em were more worried about the Camera in my hand!!!!(Yup..I yet call ‘em friends!!!)

It was so awesome..so carefree..Viv dropped me back home around 11PM..n even mom knew about it..so no guilt/fear pangs..jus an awesome time..Well when it comes to these 2 people..we don’t keep in touch regularly not every day/month..but somhow when we catch up.even if its after a year..therz no disconnection..its jus like continuing a conversation we had left halfway thru the last time..

Bindu has almost alwez forgotten my B’day..forgets to wish me for Diwali(But this year she did!!)..but I know that’s her..n ours is a long n true friendship(Tocuhwood Bindu!!!)
Viv..aahh..wat can I say..a person whoz kinda changed so much about my life..a person who I think very few people have really understood..With due respect to all my frenz…I think hez one person who kinda defines Friendship..He never calls me or anything..Its alwez me who calls him….on his bday,Xmas n new Years…Im sure he doesn’t even know my b’date….but I know that if im ever so stuck in Life n I need major help..he will NEVER EVER let me down…Thnx for givin me this kinda confidence Viv...

Donno how long we ll be in touch(Viv wont even be reading this blog!!)But I know we ll never forget each other..N Bindu..ahhh we have a long path in front of us..thru out which we ll be there for each other!!!!

Lov ya guyz
Pavi