Doubts and Feedback

Doubts

I have been blogging since Dec 2004, but donno much about blosphere. I am lazy and din’t feel like googling , so I thot I would get my doubts clarified by you guys ..

1. When I post a comment on some of ur blogs I get prompted to enter some random text before I can hit on the submit button. I find it very irritating, coz I rarely manage to get those letters right the 1st time. Any idea why those letters appear? Does it appear for all of u all as well? Any suggestions on how I can avoid them?

2. Is there a way that I can get an alert each time you update ur blog?

3. Some blogs are “private”. For such blogs can I approach the blogger n ask for permission to read the blog or is it wrong to ask coz the author would invite the readers whom they are okay with sharing their blogs anyway?

4. How does one put up polls? (I don’t plan to put up one, but might sometime in the future!)

5. How does one add a ‘C-Box’ ? C-Box works like an instant messenger, right? (I don’t plan to add one, but am curious!)

6. In a couple of comments I read discussions on people (not) getting “Feeds”. What are these Feeds?

7. How do I give out Awards?

8. What must I do to get awards ? ;-)

Feedback

Please be frank, I appreciate honesty. I will try my best to make changes based on the feedback I get from you. Kindly don’t be rude

1. Do u wish I got rid of the exclamation marks by my name?

With Respect to blogging, please complete the following :

1. U wish I would start..

2. U wish I would stop…

3.U wish I continued..


Thanks for clarifying my doubts and giving me ur feedback.

To Have or Not To Have

A few weeks back I saw the movie Juno. I enjoyed it. For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, its about a 16-year old getting pregnant and having a baby and finally giving up the baby for adoption.

I thought it takes talent to handle such a serious subject in such a light-hearted manner. The movie was fun. The dialogues were great. The screenplay writer was a 1st timer and she was a stripper before she came into Hollywood. She won an oscar for the movie. Ellen Page rocks! She’s so cute n peppy , looks 16 yrs old and was nominated for an oscar!
If u’ve seen the Hindi movie “kya kehna” which handles the same subject..u’ll u’stand when I say this movies is sooooo much better!

One common thread of discussion that came up whoever I spoke to about the movie..is , the movie is so not to be seen by teenagers, specifically American teenagers. They’ll think life is sooo easy! Get knocked up, have ur baby (its just 9 mths of trouble) and give away the baby to someone lese. Even the way the parents’ in the movie react when their daughter tells ‘em that she is pregnant is weird! They are too cool . I can’t even imagine what my parents would have done to me if I had gone to them with this kinda news at the age of 16 when I was in class X.!

I was watching some TV show on the movie and heard that the movie was made to spread the msg that “Abortion is to be avoided. Abortion is not the only solution to teenage pregnancies. Teenage pregnancies are bad, but not end of the world. There is an alternate solution available.” So the Q for u all is: To Have or Not Have the Baby?

Yeah, abortion as such does sound wrong. Two people have sex (or a few rare cases make love) and by-mistake create a new being. As this li’l one was not a part of their plans they want to destroy the baby! Its not the baby’s fault!All Beings are created by God and it is incorrect to abort….actually KILL the baby before (s)he is born. Rite? MABBE!

Though I haven’t been thru’ it I am sure giving birth to a baby isn’t all that easy for any woman.I don't think it is essential for me to explain what a nightmare life would be if the teenage mother chooses to keep the baby. Bringing up a child is obviously not easy. I’ve heard and agree that the mother develops a unique bond with the li’l one and it won’t be so easy to give it up to some strangers or friends and carry on with life like nothing happened at the end of those 9 mths. Me thinks it would haunt a mother for a long time if not all thru’ her life .She would want to know where n how her baby is doing. But let’s assume the teenage mother doesn’t really feel that bond for the baby and is ready to give it up…

Even then, I’m pretty sure 9 months doesn’t fly by when one is pregnant. For starters ur body is going to look weird and behave weirder. Society is going to ridicule you. It won’t be as easy to go back to school/college and NORMAL life. The after-effects will remain for many years before the gurl can get back to regular living and the baby-incident fades from the minds of society. So, Abortion is the best solution. Rite? MABBE!

Me Me Me !

This title ‘coz hubby n I often tease each other saying “Me Me Me” in a particular sing-song manner if we feel either one of us are talking too much about ‘emselves. I feel I’m talking too much about myself now;-)

Aneri tagged me to list 7 weird things about me and solitaire tagged me to list 5 things I love about me.. Here I Go

WEIRD ME….

1. Has NEVER EVER watched a cartoon. I donno, I can’t comprehend them! I don’t read comic strips as well! Never read an Archies book ! But I loooooooove Calvin Hobes! He’s so easy to u’stand and so much fun!
2. Has not watched Matrix, Independence Day, or ANY animated movie till date. Me thinks animated movies will be boring, I have never tried to see one!
3. Looooooooooooooves ketchup so much that I can have pretty much anything on the planet with ketchup. EG: I think fortune cookies tastes awesome with ketchup!
4. Can’t remember ever having played any video games!
5. Doesn’t like boiled egg. N I have never tasted it! It’s just the look. Cauliflower, capsicum, and mushroom used to be part of the list of things I have never tasted but don’t like. But now I’ve tasted these and actually like Gobi! BTW, I love scrambled egg n omlette.
6. Is not too sure if I can ride a bicycle! I love walking and as a child a whole bunch of us would walk to and from school. Those who had cycles would push the cycle. I recollect having tried to learn to ride a cycle, but I’m not sure if I succeeded! I’m tooooo scared to try riding a bicycle now and confirm my skills!
7. Use to sleep-walk and sleep-talk. These days I only sleep-talk!

LOVE ME… ‘coz

1. I’m a genuinely nice person and can smile thru’ any situation. I find it hard to be mean to people unless they go to great extents of annoying me!
2. If a friend is in need, I will do ANYTHING I can to help them in the situation. For starters I’ll lend my ears n shoulders!
3. I’m really open-minded! I feel there is a reason behind any act and that one act doesn’t make a person good or bad. If I think the act is wrong, I’ll explain what I think to you, but I won’t criticize the “person” that you are.
4. I’ll make the effort to “Be in Touch”. If we are friends, I’ll make the initiative of keeping in touch, never miss ur B’day or any day that matters to u! I’ll drop a note , if I cant call you “Just Like That” every once in a while.
5. I’m fairly sensible when it comes to managing my finances! U won’t find me without a decent “savings” balance

Striking the Balance

Most women struggle to strike the balance between their career and family. I do! I want to be successful in my career and be a good home-maker!

But this post is not about the typical balance that married women must strike. Work at office during the day, cook 3 meals, manager their babies and blah blah blah… This could be topic for another post…

This post is about husbands’ n wives who work in different cities. It’s about long-distance relationships – between spouses, between parent’s n children. Below are some real-life examples of couples I know

-> India: This was a love marriage and they are a wonderful couple. They met at the call Center they both worked for. After marriage the guy got a better job in city “x” in India and the girl continues to work in City “y”. They visit each other over weekends. They celebrated their 2nd wedding anniversary, and their lifestyle continues to be the same.
-> India: They were married for about a year. He got a job in Country “X”. She was pregnant. Had their baby at her mother’s place in city “Y”. Has returned to her job in City “Z” and visits the baby over weekends.Mom, Dad n child - each in a different place.
-> USA: She is pregnant and works in state “x”. Her husband works in state “y”. She has spent a lot on her education in the US and is trying to earn back some amount!She was so gullible, I couldn’t help feel sorry for her.
-> USA: She works in state “x”. Her husband and son are at state “y”. Her 2 or 3 yr old daughter is in India. She visits her husband and son alternate weekends. They have a EAD.

I know for sure, none of these couples feel good about this situation in their lives.
Is it worth it? …I don't think so.
This is just what I feel, and am not judging any1, coz i u'stand each family knows why they make the decisions that they do. But the way I look at thier situations is :

-> If you have to work in a call center in India I’m sure both of you can find a job in the same city.
-> Are you not spending all the money you earn on travel, 2 rents, phone calls etc?
-> Many Indians say people in US do it, why can’t we? Well, the Indians in USA do it coz of work permit issues. It’s not so easy here for both spouses to find a job in the same city. Is there a valid reason to be doing so in India?
-> When I’M pregnant, I want to be pampered. Have my husband by my side. It’s something every woman deserves!
-> My baby will grow up with his/her ma AND pa

My situation

I came to the US 6 months after I got married. During this 6 months, We had 3 months of long-distance relationship. (Me in India, He in USA) Once I came here(half the battle fought), I used to travel (out of the state) on work every Monday morning and return on Thrusday nights. Then for a brief period when I seemed to have got a long-term project, We moved to a different city and I worked from 8 to 5 .Vinod worked from home and traveled on work, week-by-week basis. But that was not meant to be, my project got over. My next project I traveled 3 hrs one way on work. N now We both work from home. I travel on work once in 1 or 2 months and Vinod travels once in 2 weeks.

It’s definitely not a fun/easy thing, but things have improved since the last 1 year. I find it hard to decide if its worth it ..’coz I don’t want to sit at home, I want to work. But I want a home as well. Is it too much to ask for? I will continue to do this as long as I can and then give up, when some other things will take higher priority in our lives.

My SWOT Analysis

Thanks to all of u all who took or are going to take up this tag…of doing ur SWOT Analysis. I agree it is a li’l exhausting left-brain activity that involves quite a bit of thinking! But it is helpful too right?

I am glad that I dint execute the tag and then request all of u to take it up..coz each of u handled it in a different way and that was nice. I can't promise this will be as interesting as some of the other SWOTs that I read.

Now I’m sure if I don’t do my SWOT I’ll be abandoned by u all..so here goes :

Strengths
->I am a Learner: I keep trying to pick up n learn new things/ways of doing things related to work, cooking, and life! New ideas & thoughts fascinate me and don’t scare me. I have no qualms to admitting my mistakes, saying sorry and changing or correcting myself. N this is believe will take me places
->I realize “Man Proposes, God Disposes” – Things don’t always happen according to plans. I am flexible. I know I’ll be able to work out a new solution. I believe everything happens for the Best! ->Extremely understanding and flexible hubby who is willing to move with me wherever my job requires me to move (Blv me that’s a lot of places @ a ridiculous frequency!!). He hasn’t complained or said a negative word about it once. (Makes me guiltier!)
->My people skills coz of which I build relationships easily and I have so many friends and acquaintances to reach out to when in need.
-> I choose my battles. I was not always like this.Life n time has taught me not to argue and fight about everything. But if there is sumthing I feel about and believe in strongly I'll fight for it.
->I never forget: If someone has been good to me, done something nice for me, I would never ever forget it n be forever thankful for it. The good deed is a clear picture in my mind.

Weaknesses
->During the process of learning I Doubt myself a lot. I am not confident that I can do it. I am always in Self-Doubt and need someone else to approve of me/my work/dish , to tell me I’m good.
->Oh well I know things don’t go as planned but for that moment and for the 1st few days I get completely stressed out. I whine & crib to people around me endlessly and end up having sleepless nights trying to convince myself that things will be alrite.
->I’m not a go-getter. I dream to be or do a 100 things , have no clue how to do these things and don’t make the effort to figure it out.
->I never Forget: If someone has let me down, wronged me, cheated or betrayed me..I forgive and genuinely n honestly continue to be their friends, but I never ever forget the mistake and the pain it caused me. The mistake is a clear picture in my mind.

Opportunities
->The company that I am with…Accenture. The options are many coz its global n big and a great brand-name.
->A decent financial balance. Touchwood, I have never had to worry about insufficient money. (Yeah, I am a sensible spender)
->My age.. I’m young and have plenty of time to do the things I want to. I started some of the things early in life and am glad about it!
->Life. I believe to be alive and have another day to do the things I want and say the things I want are a great opportunity. Just donno how long I’ll have this oppurtuity!

Threats
->Certain personal/ family requirements that have to be fulfilled
->The instability in my career. Changes happen way too often!
->Myself. I tend to develop a negative attitude and have self-destructive thots in the heat of the moment.
->Confusion regarding my work permit in this country. There are too many issues and confusions!

PS: I have no clue how i ended up wit more strengths ! Pls dont think of me as pompous.

Its all about Men!

Tagged by Aneri to list 10 things I Hate about men…

Changed the tag a wee bit…I (too, like other bloggers) don’t want to use the word hate..So I’m listing qualities found in many (Not All) men that really annoy me. Also listing only 8, coz I couldn’t think of 10!

1. The kind who dates/ flirts with a certain type of girl but wants to take home a different kind
If men were honest to themselves (forget others) they’ll realize a whole bunch of them are like this. Many many men have this problem.

2.The one who thinks boys don’t cry or people who cry are weak
I don’t entirely blame the men for this. Their parents, teachers, peers and society has made them believe this. As a kid, my cousin bro was afraid of the dark and was really bad @ losing games. He would start crying and throw up a tantrum. His dad and the rest of us cousins were so mean…we would tease him so much and tell him “stop being a girl” and address him by the female version of his name. Our Bad. I’m definitely not proud of this!

3.The men who think cooking , washing and/or cleaning is a woman’s job
I know many men are changing this view but plenty more need to.

4.Guys whose definition of a hot/beautiful girl is thin, tall n fair.
Seriously, No comments!

5.A guy who thinks once he’s married it’s his RIGHT to have sex with his wife and that she has no say about it.
I honestly donno any such men, but I’m sure they do exist.

6.The one who has a different set of rules for himself and a different set of rules for women (Eg: Men can have late nights but women can’t!)
Can be found in plenty!

7.Men who think the after marriage the girl belongs to his family but he doesn’t necessarily belong to her family!
They pretend otherwise to the world, ask the wives to know the true story!

8. Those who can fall in love but can't commit and run miles on the mention of the word Marriage.
I don't get what the problem is frankly. Why is it so hard to socially and publicly(which is mostly what marriage is) commit to the person u anywez want to spend the rest of ur life with?U can study, build ur career and fulfill all ur dreams together rite?

I feel we should hear the male perspective and so am tagging all MALE readers of my blog to list a few (how many ever u can think of) traits in men that they think are not so good (PS: Not Hate!) and need to change.
To list some of the men : Ceedy, Cosmic Joy, Mush

Gurls : I request you to pls not take up this tag.

Tagging All Readers: SWOT Analysis

Many of u may have come across the term SWOT Analysis while reading “economic news” , for the rest SWOT stands for :
Strengths
Weaknesses
Opportunities
Threats

The tag requires all of u to do a SWOT Analysis for urself ; i.e. list what you perceive as ur strengths, weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. There is no specific number but I would think you could list at least 4 under each section.

When I was in Class XI my Economics teacher made each one of us do a SWOT analysis of ourselves and then we revisited the list at the end of the year. I found it to be an extremely useful activity and since then on even if I don’t list down my SWOT on a paper, I do it mentally.

I’m tagging all my blog readers to do their SWOT Analysis!