Thursday, May 21, 2009

Feeling the Unsaid…

It is important to express oneself.. Say “I love you” ; Say “I miss you”..It is important to tell friends and family how much they matter to you, how much of a difference they have made to your life. There might be no tomorrow, for you or don’t delay…pick up the phone, or the paper n pen (if ur writing a letter), or write an email and convey ur true feelings ..TODAY..NOW. Don’t be shy to hug. Don’t hesitate to cry. Kiss n Tell. EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS…SAY IT ALOUD

As you read this, many of you may be nodding ur head in agreement. Just like me, you have read and heard different versions of this, conveying the same thing in essence; from several people, in several books. N then when we meet people who don’t necessarily feel comfortable in saying how and what they feel..we torment them, and ourselves..asking them and wishing for them to say it aloud.

Is it Fair????

I’m not disagreeing with how important it is to express but we all do u’stand and agree that it is fine for each individual to be different. So there are some people who can’t say it..mabbe they donno how to say it, mabbe they don’t believe in saying it , for whatever reasons ; instead they prefer sitting back n waiting for their actions to speak; for the other person to “FEEL” their love n warmth. Is that so absolutely wrong???

A recent episode has made me realize that someone who HARDLY EVER says “I love u” ( n whenever is said only ‘coz they know that I expect them to) loves me.. a LOOOOOOOOOT .. lot lot more than I could have imagined.. How n why I felt it is kinda personal..n I wont get into details here…but I felt it…n thts wat matters.
n then I felt small, embarrassed n silly..for giving them such a hard time about expressing themselves all these years. About letting all these books and people convince me that expressing oneself is SOOOOOO important! About not making the effort to u’stand that they are different n they let their actions speak for them but expecting them to make the effort to learn to speak their mind. About making life miserable for them and myself..over wat seems sooo trivial now!
Mabbe we well-spoken people should learn how to read minds and experience what they are not able to say to us, instead of preaching to them the importance of expressing their feelings in words. N mabbe we should also learn that people don’t ALWAYS mean what they say. N so mabbe we should start applying the “actions speaker louder than words” proverb in this context.

This realization wouldn’t have come if not for the episode and what followed. Mabbe in a few months, I’ll be back to square one wanting to be told how much I’m cared for and loved (I HOPE NOT!!!)...…n then I will hopefully remember to come back n read this post and remind myself about what a wonderful life I have and what wonderful people (though different from me) are a part of it!

I wish there were books and people telling us that it isn’t all that important to say the three or more precious words, that words aren’t ALL that precious to start with, that there might be some people who will not be able to say it in words and that that’s allright!!! If such books do exist n it’s just me who doesn’t know, please enlighten me! If not..why don’t one of you aspiring authors start with writing about “Feeling the Unsaid…” ?? I will surely buy it!

P.S: No offence to those of u who have written posts about the importance of expressing oneself in words, But I would surely like your thoughts on this post of mine!