Confusions of the Thinking Mind
Picture this. Year 2009. A couple who live by themselves. The husband, Mr Open Minded , 60 yrs old, closed his own business 5 years back.[He didnt have a choice about it and did what he had to in the give circumstances]. The wife, Ms Independent, 55 yrs , is working at a 9 to 6 job. they have a debt to clear n Ms independent intends on quitting her job once the loan has been taken care of. Mr Open-minded helps around the house. As needed he washes clothes (India style, on a washing stone; not by loading the washing machine!!), sweeps n mops the house, washes the front porch n draws a rangoli etc etc. Ms Independent does her share of house-work, cooking, cleaning dishes etc.
So what is your instant reaction to such a story? Do you want to pat the guy on the back and say New-age man and applaud him for throwing in a helping hand? For being broad-minded enough to agree and live this set-up?
Well.tho not completely, for a while..that was my reaction. I convinced myself that this is development n change n this is what we are heading to. But no more fooling myself,. Something , just something seems to be amiss with the set-up. It doesn’t paint the picture of a happy couple leading a happy life. I’m not sure if the husband should actually be called “Mr Open-minded”. Or the Wife “Ms Independent”. She is more like “Ms supporter” and he “Mr easy-way-out”
For starters I know the Ms Supporter is tired of working @ a 9-6 job. She has been doing this for the last 25 odd years. She needs a break. BUT if a debt must be cleared, then someone has got to work. n if its okay for a guy to work even when he doesn’t want to, why can’t the same hold true for a woman? N its not that Mr Easy-Way-Out has a job opportunity but won’t take it up. He doesn’t have any that are “appropriate”. And India is not yet matured to treat all jobs with the same dignity.
If I don’t feel sorry for a house wife (now known as home maker) who does the home tasks why should I feel sorry for a guy who is at home, who does the same? BUT it’s so hard for me to wrap my mind around the idea of a guy drawing a rangoli in front of the house at 6 am! There is something about it that doesn’t look as modern as it sounds.
So much for preaching the equality of men and women! Given my reactions, should I be branded as a hypocrite in this situation? Is it just me who has this kinda reaction? Can my resistance to this scenario be categorized under the “normal” general resistance to change and will I be able to look at the same situation in a positive manner few years down the line when it is more prevalent? Will such a scenario become more prevalent in the coming years?
What if I told you that now, Mr Easy-Way-Out has b’come used to Ms Supporter providing for them and so shows no inclination to contribute to the finances in any manner so that she can retire soon, like she wishes to? Even when Ms Supporter says that she wants to quit..he clearly says/shows his disagreement with the idea and prods her to continue working atleast part-time. That can’t be the right thing to do!?! But if both of them are done working, then what does the family do to provide for themselves?!
Sorry, I’ve raised a zillion questions in this post. But my mind feels very confused. It’s not able to come up with any solution. What do you feel about all this?
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Confusions of the Thinking Mind
Monday, October 12, 2009
It’s the time
Its that time of the year when there is loads n loads of festivals!..Starting Raksha Bandan/Aavani Avittam(the day the men change their sacred thread. Never mind that Mr husband takes it off the very next day..’coz its yet a day of celebration at home) in early August until New Years even in Dec..its celebration time. Time to get dolled up, cook fancy food, throw parties, attend parties and have a blast!
Well, technically this post should have come much earlier i.e in august. I generally look forward to all the festivals and this time more so ‘coz my inlaws were suppose to be here..and I was planning on celebrating all of them very traditionally and making lots of yummy food ‘coz I would be assisting well-experienced hands in the kitchen. But it wasn’t meant to be. The Avani Avittam and Ganesh Chaturthi celebrations were nice…but inlaws left early, just before Janmashatami..and so it was back to just the husband and I for the remaining festivals.
I was bummed about it and thanks to being in low spirits did not celebrate Janmashtami or Dusshera. We did nothing at home. Not even any special food. No special prayers. Nothing. The husband played along. He didn’t complain about the lack of celebration nor did he motivate to actually celebrate.
Now it’s time for Diwali. n since childhood this has remained my fav festival. For the last 2 years that I have been in the US..we have had a Diwali potluck at my place..decorated our home with Diyas and Rangoli, cooked some special food, did puja, wore new traditional clothes etc etc etc. This year coz my mil was suppose to be here..i had decided that we would have a Diwali party at home as usual except that we would do ALL the cooking. Atleast 30 people had come over last year minus the kids.
Thankfully the high spirits have returned and I want to celebrate Diwali nicely. If possible, make up for all the festivals I missed celebrating. Now of course plans had to change. I couldn’t cook for 30 people…but no, I want to cook. N there has been disagreements between the husband and me in that area. I don’t like throwing a party in OUR HOME unless we are on the same page.
As luck would have it…we have to move by the end of the month. We are just moving to the ground floor in the same apartment. N this is being done mostly ‘coz I want to. Thanks to constantly moving for the last 2 years..this year, I couldn’t rest in peace when we recently completed a year in the same home. I have been itching to move and the opportunity has risen and the husband has agreed! I like moving ‘coz it brings about the excitement of setting up a new home and of course it’s a nice excuse to clean and do away with all the unwanted stuff we have collected at home.
N so..we have decided that we will throw a party once we move to our new home and settle down there. I’m looking forward to the move and the party that will follow after.
Meanwhile..I am really xcited about Diwali. I have decided on the menu for the day. I’m yet to choose which sari I’m going to drape, but I’ve picked up some matching jewellery to go with a few saris I have shortlisted. We have chosen the sherwani for the hubby and have been invited to attend a party at a friend’s place in the evening.
Am so looking forward to the coming days! Hope its fun! Yippe!
So, what are your plans for Diwali? And which is your favorite festival?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sum Of All Fears
They were crawling below the unbderbush. Tired and sweaty. "Come on, Pavi...a few more miles and we are through", Vinod implored. Pavi knew it wasn't true, but after seeing the way Musheer and Vinay were taken down, she did not care for rest. Clutching her gun close to the chest she crawled further, inch by inch.
"It wil be fun!", Harish was exclaiming, "You guys have just a day with us and why waste it by sitting at a coffee shop and yapping; which we do anyways over chat and mail!". She could see that Vinod was on his side, he too liked the idea of having a day in the outdoors as he had been cooped up since the time they visited India. She could see the merits but for a reason she could not quite fathom, felt uneasy. She looked at Musheer and Vinay. Vinay was as usual a fence sitter but Musheer, maybe sensing her unease, said "Yeah da! It sounds fun. With the jungle all around and you, i don't know...hanging out sounds like a perfect plan to me! What's wrong with hang..."
"...don't be a girl Mush!" Harish snapped, "You know that all this talk about naxals in the jungle are rubbish...and what do you think I would try? Kill you?"
And now he was. Pavi couldn't help but shake the feeling that this was all Harish's plan. For one; he had practically disappeared the moment they hit the resort. And Musheer was shot from the front. The red splattered across his chest was a large blob which meant that he was shot up close, he wouldn't allow someone he didn't know to come that close, right?
"What?" She turned to Vinod, "I didn't hear what you said". "I said, we will take a break once we reach that ridge, but we will have to cross it alone. I will sneak along and give you the signal to come across, alright?"
She nodded, barely able to hide her frustration. She dragged him into this and he had endured for so long without complaining and not even for once had he uttered anything about giving up. A surge of affection welled up inside her for her husband and before she could bring herself to say anything he gave her a look. A look that meant he understood and a that it will be over soon. A feeling, though she did not share, was glad that he did.
"You okay, right? Vinod asked, "We can cancel this and stay back in the city if you want" She could see that he was serious and even though he liked the idea of gallivanting through the jungle, he would stay back if she did not feel upto it. "Hmmm...Can we?" She asked teasingly and laughed at the flight of expressions across his face; dismay, concern and; when he realized she was kidding; a wide grin.
"Alright, alright...I get it...I will pay the price for this won't I?"
With a quick kiss and a nod, he slowly began to walk, crouching, towards the ridge. There was an open stretch where for a second he was exposed to anyone watching but he quickly crossed it and leaned on a rock; partially hidden from her. She sighed in relief and for a minute had this optimistic thought that they might yet make it.
He looked over to her and smiled, or so she thought and she smiled back. And realized in horror that there was a shape slowly disengaging itself from the cluster of rocks and was rising behind Vinod. She gave a muted scream and realized thta he hasn't noticed it. The form resolved itself to the familiar, and now loathed, shape of Harish. Vinod realised something was wrong when her piercing scream reached his ears and he turned back with his gun raised, a little too late. She heard the chatter of Harish's rifle and saw the blotches, dark and brooding, appear in front of Vinod's chest.
He was falling and then...it was all a blur...she remember pointing her gun and screaming...running down the slope...body powered by rage and thirst for revenge...staring into Harish's eyes and pressing the trigger...seeing the red blob where his head was...jumping on his flailing body and hitting his helmeted head with her gun...
"Pavi, Pavi...whoa!!! Easy!! It's paintball, not wrestle mania!! You win! You win!"
This space means a lot to me. It belongs to me…ONLY me. Its a space that I have complete control over.Its a space where I can speak w/o having anyone interrupt me. N that I like. There have been times when I have been hooked to it and given it lots of attention by writing many posts[one per week ;every week of the month is MANY in my dictionary!], responding to comments on a daily basis and all of that. n then there have been times when I hvn’t visited it in ages. I’ve just let it be;not done anything with it for several weeks. Frankly, I rarely beat myself up or feel guilty about not updating my blog as often as I should. I’ve always been aware n conscious of its existence. Of the fact that I can come here n write what I want n instantly feel better. n that’s all matters to me. After all its MINE.
All you people who have been reading me for several months now. Thank You very much. I won’t lie that the readers..commenters is one other reason that keeps me coming back to my space. As much as jotting my thoughts down makes me feel good; the fact that someone cares to read what I write makes me feel better.
I can’t remember why I started writing back in Dec 2004.Think it was a fad to own blogs then and then I had friends who wrote very well, n who I loved to read. Thus began this journey. Now its no more the fad..the most important reason why I write is ‘coz I want to be able to look back at my life and my thoughts. It’s about coming back to it several years later. Its about capturing some things in words.
So ya in [close to] 5 years…I finally have my 100th post. THIS is it! N of course the dear dear friend who created this space for me n wrote my first post.. is the obvious choice to write my 100th post. He doesn’t blog as much these days.I really wish he blogged more often.
I hope this space continues to live with me!
Okay..tell me honestly..how many of u all could identify that the “Sum of All Fears” wasn’t authored by me? N how/why? Be honest u guys!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Of Love, Hate n more Intellectual stuff
I read The FountainHead. Again. I enjoyed it. Again. I could appreciate how profound it is. Again.
The 1st time I read the book, I was 19 years old and it was the first of the kind that I was reading. I was graduating from Sidney Sheldons n the likes to authors like Ayn Rand. I developed a different kind of respect for the book and it instantly became a favorite.
The 2nd time I read the book, I’m as impressed as I was the first time, mostly for the same reasons, but yet in a different way. This time I have no silly illusions about living in a world where people like Howard Roark actually exist. I don’t have the slightest dream to live life like him. I accept that, that’s so far from reality. But I do feel saddened that this is all just fiction and can never be reality.
I don’t believe I’ve come across a book that conveys deeper philosophy than this. And definitely not in a more interesting manner than The FountainHead does.I’m not surprised that the book has been in print for more than 25 years.. It is definitely likeable across genders, age groups, cultures and generations The author reminisces that they don’t write such books anymore. She could be right.
In the “Afterword”..It is mentioned that that one of the best things about this book is that it temporarily it allows you to live in Howard Roark’s world. I agree and would like to add..The book makes you imagine and wonder about how well you would fit into that world and what you would do under the circumstances.
Among the many personalities in the book are 3 key personalities, the man that WAS, the man that COULD HAVE BEEN and the man who COULD NEVER BE. I like this classification. It takes so much effort and energy to be a certain personality. No one has it easy..It is tough sometime or the other…At the beginning, thru’ the journey or at the end…for anybody…for everybody.
I could go on n on but you must read the book to be able to appreciate it. I ‘ll end with what remained a question in my head. The book suggests that “one who is not capable of hate is not capable of love”.
I believe that no greater importance can be given to someone than the emotion of hatred. It is finally the person who hates who loses ‘coz hatred results in so much negative energy. N so I don’t hate anyone or anything. Is that why I don’t u’stand what love is?Is that why I don’t know what the word or emotion means?
Monday, August 10, 2009
- Its offensive that ppl respond to selected comments on their posts and don’t even bother with acknowledging the other comments.
- A certain person has blocked me on gtalk, though they keep sending me emails saying “oh!how I wish I can get online when u come online. We MUST catch up” . Yeah Rite! Why the effort to pretend I wonder!
- The gossipy neighbor who said “that girl must have committed some sin in her past, that’s why she has a mother like B” is SO out of her mind! N may I add THAT girl is 2 yrs old!!!
- Most times it’s the company that matters and not so much the place
- This world won’t let anyone who chooses a different/ out of “normal” path for their life...to live peacefully. The world doesn’t u’stand that many times it’s not necessarily a ‘chosen’ path. They don’t u’stand its really NOT their business to opine about it!
- Its unfair when one is okay with spending a huge amount simply ‘coz it’s not their money that is being spent.
- Its hard to make good lifelong friends as one grows older
- EVERYONE has an element of selfishness in them and that’s not a bad thing
- Making one u’stand that Religion and God are 2 completely different subjects is a mammoth of a task.
- Job Security is such a far-away dream
- One’s got to be so damn heartless to give family politics more importance than seeing a newborn
- A parent who is a friend to their child is not necessarily a good parent. A friend and a parent, each is a separate role and have separate responsibilities.
- Pen friends are GREAT! A blogger and I have come so far in our friendship without having ever met each other. We can’t imagine a day without mailing/texting each other. We don’t even crave to meet. We are happy with things the way they are. Touchwood!
- That I have a wonderful husband though it’s hard to explain how n why. Touchwood again!
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Celebrating Srishti and Sibling love!
This post has been on my mind for several days. I’m not sure why xactly I didn’t write it down..i didn’t know how to start, I didn’t know how to end, I didn’t know what to write in between.. All I knew that I was happy…very happy that my sister had a baby girl on the 17th of July. The baby girl we waited for so desperately.
When I knew she was expecting a baby..I declared how happy I was that now I will have to write letters to 2 li'l angels. I told her that I secretly hoped it would be a girl so I can buy her all the junk jewellery! N then we waited until D-day with baited` breath.
I also knew that I was very upset over not being able to be there physically, to celebrate the joy with them. To not be able to hold the bundle of joy “carefully”. To not look into her eyes n wonder what she’s thinking, to not wait for the time when she would open her eyes n look at me n thereafter declare that she approves of me n adores me n so is why she looked at me, to not get upset about the fact that she doesn’t jump with glee when I return from work…
All of this I did with her 1st child..Rishab, 31/2 yrs back.
I remember calling Rishab my li’l angel…n boy has he proved me wrong! One tiny brat he is..mite as well have christened “Trouble”.The boy is so naughty n uber cute n hes being a very loving brother (so far). Touchwood!
Srishti G Chari feels like a li’l angel too. N I secretly hope that she proves me wrong as well [tho my sister will kill me for this]
I hear from everyone that she is a very good girl. Doesn’t cry much. Sleeps for most of the day.
N the li’l darling..i think she forgives me for not being able to be with her physically. Tho she slept for the initial few mins..she did slowly open her eyes and stare at me on the webcam. She even yawned her baby-yawn for me. She does approve of me n love me! Boy! Did she make my day or what!
N while I hurt ‘coz all of family n friends collected in my house to celebrate the birth of Srishti ..it took a 3 1/2 yr old to make me feel better . This is how the conversation went :
Me : Hi rishu! How are u?
R:Fine chitti. Ni eppdi irrika?chittappa eppadi irrika?(How are you n uncle?)
Me; Fine kanna. Papa eppadi irrika?(how is the baby?)
R: Cute chitti. Aana kan tharakve matandra. Amma’v kuda avlo pakamatandra. En kuda veliyadmatandra. Thungide irika (she is cute. But she doesn’t open her eyes. Not even to see mom.She doesn’t play with me. She just keeps sleeping)
N so I told myself…I shldnt feel too bad abt not being there now. After all she wouldn’t even know that I visited her. Hopefully I can see her in a year, when she would have b’com Trouble2 n will have everyone on their toes.
Rite now shez just a bubble of joy. Completing my sister’s family. N so far Rishab is being a wonderful brother. He wants to take care of his li’l sister. Hug his sister. Play with her. Teach her rhymes.n was thrilled to have her tie rakhi for him
Therz a picture of them sitting on the swing in our balcony. She is on Rishab’s lap n he is holding onto her tightly. Shez looking up into his eyes..n he down at her. Both of them so oblivious of the fact that there is a camera trying to capture the moment. Both of them so in awe of each other. :)
[Before u get worried, there is a pair of adult’s hands holding onto Srishti..but that I’m hoping, can be chopped off from the picture]
So while Srishti is a cutie-pie herself..i’m sure a lot of her life will shape up the way it does ‘coz of her brother. I hope they both love each other endlessly..just like how my sis n I did. For a very long time I didn’t care for an identity separate from my sister’s. I loved(n yet do) being known as her li’l sister , n without even trying, in that manner, my own identity came into being.
Cheers to Srishti G chari n another era of sibling love!
Bless the 2 babies..will u all please?
Friday, July 10, 2009
Ryan and Dakota.....we wait for thee!
Pavi took When will you have children, what will you have and what will there names be
/* Insert a VERY CUTE pic of 2 babies here , 'coz i donno how to embed the same! */
You will have Twins 1 Boy and 1 Girl
You have the best of both worlds
They will be born on January 27 2017
They will be born naturally
They will be called Ryan and Dakota
Ryan will have Brown Hair and Blue eyes
Dakota will have Blonde Hair and Green Eyes
Ryan will grow up to be in the RAF
Dakota will be a stay at home mum with 5 Girls and will marry a Millionaire
- If our daughter's husband is a millionaire, she becomes one too n thereby we,her parents too become millionaires rite?like, by default? with zero effort from our side...except of course the effort of making her!
- Can u imagine in her times Dakota is going to be a stay-at-home mom with 5 girls ?! I'm tellin u...times are changing... DRASTICALLY!
-RAF is Royal Army Airforce no??? not too bad either !
- So can someone now tell us..how do V n I...who look as desi as we do, produce childrern with brown/blonde hair and green/blue eyes?
-2017 : seeems far far away ; will have to make some changes to our early retirement plan!
/* For those of you who think i've gone cuckoo...this is a test I took on FB this morning!*/
I couldnt resist bloggin this...so i can visit this years later n validate it. n mabbe sue FB 'coz things didn't happen as it promised! ...see there are many ways of becoming a millionaire..one's just got to THINK!
PS: I really thank FB for providing such a comic relief to life n other such complicated matters!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
What do you do???
When you have to work on a friendship , that’s lasted 9 years(n that too alone)
When the friendship matters a helluva lot
When you are taken for granted ‘coz you are loved
When the other person doesn’t even u’stand what the fuss(read anger) is about
When they assume that you will be “okay” with anything they do
When your sure that they will be “okay” with anything that you do
When they get so upset that ur mad at them
When they seem to be clueless on how to set things right
When they say they hope that you know that you are one of their most fav people in this world
When you actually know that that’s the truth
When they donno what else to say/do to make things right
When you just like that forget to be angry
When all you want to do is share a hug n a laugh (but don’t want to give in so easily)
When u know this drama will reccur a zillion times like it already has in the past!
When u know NOTHING will really change..not even in a zillion years!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Hello and All that’s Happening…
Now that’s the subject with which a dear friend and I exchange emails…Seeing an email with that subject perks me up…
[Silly boy…he hasnt yet replied to my email!]
So ..how have u guys been?Been Good?Atleast sometimes?
Okay we are done with the Hellos…let me move on to the happening bit…Well in the past months..so much has happened n then nothing really happened…
Well there was my B’day…n I had a nice one. The hubby with some friends threw me a surprise B’day party and I got loads n loads of gifts… do u mind if I list them?Don’t think u shld…these will be ideas when its ur turn to gift..
Money (from mom-dad, nanaji) – thank God somethings never change :)
A fossil watch (its so big n sexy..the kind monica wears in Friends..the kind I’ve alwez wanted!!) + other random things (that I cant list) from the hubby
A NY&Co. party (small) bag + an awesome junky chain + maybelline lipstick + card.. from the “forever friend”
A poem written by the afore mentioned dear friend... Harish
A 1 year subscription to Reader’s Digest from the friend with who I HAVE to communicate every single day of life.
Pretty tops n kurtis n jewellery.. from the bestest sis in the whole wide world
“The White Tiger” from who I think can be the world’s bestest cook!
A B.I.G white bag + a bouquet of tulips + a box of brownies(makes me crave for more YET!) + card from a friend at work
Chocolates + a surprise team lunch from the manager
karthik's wishes from the blogworld who remembered from last year that it was my b'day!
N plenty of phone calls n emails n ecards n orkut n FB scraps…
Oh thank u all for making my day so special. Its these things that makes growing old kinda worth it!
So ya ..like every year..this year too the day after the b’day was very sad…coz then when it sinks in that u’ve grown older but therz no gifts n well-wishes to compensate for the news! N ya if u havent guessed by now I LOVE BIG…..big cars,bags, ear-rings, rings, watches…’et all !
N then came the knee surgery from which I’m yet recovering…therez been a lot of drama happening over the knee for the last year n then it went to its peak over the last 2-3 mths… but now that I have got the surgery done and am “In Recovery” I can talk about it w/o panicking too much. I cant even begin to xplain the problem…’coz even the docs don’t know wat it is completely n the reason or cure hasn’t been discovered..but the wiki says only 1 in a million people get the problem. So ya..im unique n it mite pay to know me!!
The surgery has led me to discover wat a wonderful care-taker the hubby can be. That he is indeed capable of taking control and managing the home. Tho he did say that the 1st week after surgery ,when I was on anesthisia n pain killers , which had opium in it..was the most entertaining week of his married life! He says it’s better than me getting drunk! Sigh!
1 week after surgery was our Wedding Anniversary! Ya wrong timing no?!?! but it was a nice one.. The 1st time I got out of the house after the surgery….we saw The Hangover (OMG! such a laughing riot!!) and had dinner outside..n plenty of gifts again. [Don’t panic! Relax! I’m not listing these!] We have been married for 3 years…can’t believe it! Time flies! Feels like yester when I was the “MAD” [not SHY] bride running around doing the wedding shopping!
PS: I think the trick to having good celebrations..is expecting things to go bad or simply not expecting anything at all..then automatically it becomes a wonderful day..atleast most times.
This year, I’ve mostly been content with life. Touchwood. Somethings are amiss…but I don’t find a reason to crib about it night n day. Things could be worse. I really want to soak up life n live it up ! I think I have finally grown up.
N then I saw this program ‘View’ on TV…in which they said that one of the signs of immaturity is to worry about having shaved ur legs while visiting the doc. Well..I do VERY much worry about it! n I worry more when the doc is young and/or cute! So ya back to Square one…age is just a number and doesn’t say anything about growing up!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Truth be told...
**Was tagged to do this on FB **
From now on, you can't tell lies, are you ready?
I’ll do my best!
Think back six months ago, were you single?
What do you carry with you at all times?
My wedding ring (I wear it)
When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
Rarely. Most times it means..i wish I could stop caring or I’m going to try to stop caring
How are you feeling?
Is something wrong right now?
Are you mad at someone?
What's on your mind?
sumthing I cant write in such a public forum
Are you jealous of someone right now?
Nope..havn't been for a while
Do you have a piggy bank that's actually shaped like a pig?
Do you want to start over with anyone?
No..its all good
Do you know if anyone likes you?
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
ya, If I want to.
What are you supposed to be doing right now?
True love or 1 billion bucks?
I really am not gonna ans anything to do with love!
Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
I used to get a lot of “u have nice big eyes like ur mom’s" as a child n then I think my eyes just shrunk :(
Anything you would change about your life right now?
Ya..a few things.. But it could be worse u know!
You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?
Permanent tatoo….No..i wont get it.
Temporary….i cld get some design done on my arm.
Could you cry right now?
No, don’t feel like!
Do you ever think about stuff and start crying?
Ya, sumtimes. Specially if im alone.
How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Times when I know that me saying it wont make a difference to the situation nor give me any self-satisfaction
Are you okay with the life you live?
ya. Its been fairly good.
Last person you told a secret to?
I think it was Harish..Ahaha! Such a silly secret!
Do you like hugs?
Of Course ! But got to be from the right people!
Do you believe true love can conquer anything?
told u am not answering stuff to do with love.
When was the last time you cried?
How much money did you spend today?
zilch! The hubby took care of it all.
What are you sitting on right now?
Who's the last person you IM'd?
What's something you really want right now, be honest.
Hug n sleep.
How do you feel about your hair right now?
I HATE it!
What did you do yesterday?
Work n watch a couple of shows of david Letternman
Would you forgive a friend for telling your biggest secret?
Is there someone that makes you happy every time you speak with them?
Yes..My mom or sis.
When's the last time you said you were fine and you really weren't?
Is someone on your mind right now?
so many people..now that it got me thinking!
Who's birthday is coming up?
The li'l angel which my sis is due to have soon.
Were you happy when you woke up?
Not exactly…I was anxious about sumthing.
What is one emotion you are feeling right now?
Didn’t u ask me already?.... Boredom!
What's the last thing you ate?
Are you easy to get along with?
That’s what some people say
Ever cheated on someone?
Why do u care?
Who is the last person to send you a text?
What are you currently listening to?
Thoughts in my head!!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Feeling the Unsaid…
It is important to express oneself.. Say “I love you” ; Say “I miss you”..It is important to tell friends and family how much they matter to you, how much of a difference they have made to your life. There might be no tomorrow, for you or them..so don’t delay…pick up the phone, or the paper n pen (if ur writing a letter), or write an email and convey ur true feelings ..TODAY..NOW. Don’t be shy to hug. Don’t hesitate to cry. Kiss n Tell. EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS…SAY IT ALOUD
As you read this, many of you may be nodding ur head in agreement. Just like me, you have read and heard different versions of this, conveying the same thing in essence; from several people, in several books. N then when we meet people who don’t necessarily feel comfortable in saying how and what they feel..we torment them, and ourselves..asking them and wishing for them to say it aloud.
Is it Fair????
I’m not disagreeing with how important it is to express but we all do u’stand and agree that it is fine for each individual to be different. So there are some people who can’t say it..mabbe they donno how to say it, mabbe they don’t believe in saying it , for whatever reasons ; instead they prefer sitting back n waiting for their actions to speak; for the other person to “FEEL” their love n warmth. Is that so absolutely wrong???
A recent episode has made me realize that someone who HARDLY EVER says “I love u” ( n whenever said..it is said only ‘coz they know that I expect them to) loves me.. a LOOOOOOOOOT .. lot lot more than I could have imagined.. How n why I felt it is kinda personal..n I wont get into details here…but I felt it…n thts wat matters.
n then I felt small, embarrassed n silly..for giving them such a hard time about expressing themselves all these years. About letting all these books and people convince me that expressing oneself is SOOOOOO important! About not making the effort to u’stand that they are different n they let their actions speak for them but expecting them to make the effort to learn to speak their mind. About making life miserable for them and myself..over wat seems sooo trivial now!
Mabbe we well-spoken people should learn how to read minds and experience what they are not able to say to us, instead of preaching to them the importance of expressing their feelings in words. N mabbe we should also learn that people don’t ALWAYS mean what they say. N so mabbe we should start applying the “actions speaker louder than words” proverb in this context.
This realization wouldn’t have come if not for the episode and what followed. Mabbe in a few months, I’ll be back to square one wanting to be told how much I’m cared for and loved (I HOPE NOT!!!)...…n then I will hopefully remember to come back n read this post and remind myself about what a wonderful life I have and what wonderful people (though different from me) are a part of it!
I wish there were books and people telling us that it isn’t all that important to say the three or more precious words, that words aren’t ALL that precious to start with, that there might be some people who will not be able to say it in words and that that’s allright!!! If such books do exist n it’s just me who doesn’t know, please enlighten me! If not..why don’t one of you aspiring authors start with writing about “Feeling the Unsaid…” ?? I will surely buy it!
P.S: No offence to those of u who have written posts about the importance of expressing oneself in words, But I would surely like your thoughts on this post of mine!
Monday, April 06, 2009
A couple of weeks back...V was down with the flu symptoms and took some medicines that caused him to sleep all day. So obviously moi had too much time in my hands..n how did i use it?? By taking up a zillion FB quizes...n 'coz u choose to read me..u too will be tortured ;) Here Goes....
Pavi completed the quiz "Who Were You In A Past Life?" with the result Marylin Monroe.
In your past life you were Marylin Monroe. In this life you continue to be radiant, happy, whimsical, and daring..
/*Ain't that fancy */
Pavi completed the quiz "Dr. Phil's Personality Test" with the result The Lively Center of Attention.
Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not one to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out..
/*Don't miss the chance to get into my good books by seconding this!*/
Pavi completed the quiz "What Color Is Your Heart?" with the result Pink.
The Pink Heart is compassionate, empathetic, imaginative, sensitive, mystical, spiritual, dreamy, passive, easy-going, idealistic, visionary, inspirational, accepting, undiscriminating, charitable, believes in soul growth, self-sacrificing and artistic. They can also sometimes be distracted, detached, illusory, impractical, gullible, neglectful, escapist and lazy..
Pavi completed the quiz "What should your nick name be" with the result PJ.
You are a typical normal person. Your nickname should be PJ .
Pavi scored 90% on the There/Their/They're Test test.
There/Their/They're Test: Do you know when to use the words there, their, and they're?
/*I missed the 10% 'coz of a silly mistake i realized a second late..REALLY*/
Pavi completed the quiz "Which country describes you best??" with the result Hawaii.
Your ultimate destination is Hawaii: You love the sun and relaxation of the beach..you love the crystal clear, blue waters and you love to take a dip in the pool... you don't like it too hot or too cool...you like it right in between.. better get packing... your destination awaits....
/*now wher'z the Q about who i should bug to take me there?*/
Pavi completed the quiz "What color is your personality?" with the result Melon.
You are a very shy person. But you are also very compassionate and kind. You love to help other people, and you are very selfless. If someone is hurt, you are always the first one to help even if you don't know them. However, you are very timid, so you don't have many friends. If you want to be someone's friend, tell them. Trust me, they want to be your friend too. Your motto: "Others before me."
/*Blah..shy???don't have many friends??Timid??Selfless??.. Blah*/
Pavi completed the quiz "Are You Clinically Insane?" with the result Bipolar.
Ever wondered why you're so moody? You experience days or weeks of paralyzing, cheeto-binging depression, then a week of frenzied, hyperactive, ridiculously irresponsible behavior characterized by wild thoughts, sleepless nights, maxing out credit cards, having unprotected sex with dozens of strangers... or shaving your head and attacking the paparazzi with an umbrella. Some might call that chemically imbalanced... others call it "passionate" or blame it on the "artistic temperament". Whatever you call it, you could do with some balance... and Abilify..
/*ahaha! wat docs couldn't figure, FB did :D */
Pavi took the What Car fits you the best? quiz and the result is Volkswagen golf
A car is an object to get from one place to another: nothing more, nothing less.. But if you drive one, you don't want any crap
/*I want a SUV.Period.I dont care wat any1 says!*/
Pavi took the Where are you going to end up living in your future? quiz and the result is Shack
You might be poor, but atleast you have a life!
/* See..I'm poor..now pls start donating so i can have a decent life! */
Pavi took the Are You a Grammar and Spelling Freak? quiz and the result is English Professor Material
You could correct College-Level paper! Your spelling and Grammar are Perfect!
/*Told ya! My English rocks;) */
Pavi took the What nationality are you? quiz and the result is American
Believing and ready to help! You can see the good in people, but also in yourself. too bad you seem naiv for some people.
Pls note : U may be subjected to more of this kinda torture.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Favor for the Sis!!
The sister of mine…I lover her…n she knows n so she takes advantage! She NEVER has time to come online or send photographs of our li’l angel(her 3yrd old) or herself(I want to see her too, now that she is expecting another angel). N that son of hers wants ALL of her [atleast] when she returns home from work at night and that part of the weekend that she’s at home. She attends phone calls more often than she used to these days but doesn’t have the time to write or respond to emails.. Alas, the excuse is shez a mommy n has a job(that demands 11 hrs of work everyday) n hardly has any time for herself…n WE ALL ( Dad, mom, I, few friends n sumtimes her hubby!) fall for her [lame] excuse n instantly forgive her!
Anyways yesterday I suddenly see an email from that gurl sitting in my inbox! I was shocked (ya, not pleasantly surprised!)n open it INSTANTLY! It talks about voting for sumone yada yada..I sigh n crib to the hubby “All that she can email after decades n centuries is this?!?!.. a forward??? N she tells us all STRICTLY to not send her any forwards!The guts of the woman!!!”.. n then today there is a follow-up email saying “ Pavi, Sorry. Pls vote for that guy and send this to as many friends as possible. Also please publish this on ur blog if u can. Am in a hurry. Longer mail later. Sorry. U know I love u”
Ya ya, I know she loves me!!! N I also know the longer mail is NEVER coming…but yet if my sis sent 2 mails abt sumthing…I’m sure as hell its sumthing SUPER important for her.. so guys, can u PLEASE read the below post and do as instructed? Pretty Please! N ya once u vote….my sis will owe u all one..just like she owes me!!!
PS: The Request for the vote is on a separate post ‘coz she wanted me to send the link to her once I publish it…and I’m not quite sure what she wants to do with it…but I didn’t want all this personal info to be with it!
Vote for the Indian
A contest is happening in Australia called “The best job in the World” for which millions around the world had applied. Now, 50 ppl have been short-listed and among them an Indian – Anjaan, popularly known as RJ Anjaan from Radio One, Bangalore, has also got featured. Now, to go further he needs YOUR SUPPORT. So do vote for him and support another Indian to attain great heights at the world arena.
Vote for him at
Pass this onto your friends as well. The last date for voting is March 23 and you can vote for him multiple times from the same id, but only once in 24 hrs. So everyday (if you want to) you can vote for Anjaan once from the same id.
/*Thanks a Bunch..u all!*/
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Hey guys..Hope life is treating u all well. The reason that I am not writing regularly is that I do not like anything I write. There are a few posts in draft mode and several which have gone to the thrash! N then of course the lazy bug bites me n so I don’t even attempt !
It’s not right that I simply vanish…n so thought I ll keep u guys posted that I’m very much alive n will post whenever I come up with decent reading material!
Meanwhile..wat is it with some people??? Therz some who want to pretend that everything and everyone about their life is PURRFECT and the rest who what to WHINE about everyone and everything! (No) complaints (galore) about the hubby/bf, the in-laws, the friends, the work, the length of weekends, the children, the snow, the rain, the increasing job-insecurity, the pay-cut, the hair-fall, the boredom, the hectic life, the acne, cooking decisions, ever-increasing waist-line, lack of time, too much time…..and the list goes on n on n on !
Can someone please enlighten these people about Striking the Balance!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Back Up Plan
Firstly Thank You All…for coming back to read me and not forgettin me. I know I’m not updating my blog as often as I should..well I never have done that..but still…I feel like saying Sorry, this time around! I have been swamped since the beginning of this Year…Work has been hectic. VERY HECTIC. Guess I should be thankful that I have a job and be glad to be busy. .So, no complaints.
Weekends have been busy with outings or cooking or simply trying to keep ourselves warm! Ya this year we have had all time lows.. It went down to -40 F last week n of course the cake has to have an icing… the heater in our home stopped working over the weekend, when the temp was lowest. How did we survive? No clue! But ya we are alive!
At the end of Dec my company laid off over 10 people. That and all else that’s going on with the economy has resulted in “Back-Up Plan” being the most common topic of discussion. Over the last few months I’ve noticed most Indians, even bachelors mention having their savings to fall upon for a few months .To most phirangs the concept of savings seem alien.
I think most of us desis have grown up believing that savings is a must for a safe n good future. I’m not the kind of person who says give up ur present day fun just ‘coz u have to save up for a future which is anyway not certain. But at the same I’m totally against the kinda person who takes a loan to go shopping and attend parties, the kind who’s expenses are more than their income on a constant basis. My conscience wouldn’t let me borrow money that I don’t ABSOLUTELY need and that I can’t be certain of returning. Neither do I like anyone doing that with my money.
A friend(student in the US) told me her dad’s advise to her was to always have a bank balance enough to be able to purchase a ticket to India at any given time. I loved the advice. Think it’s very justified and sensible. Most of us are far away from our family..and ‘coz we never know wat will happen…shouldn’t we alwez have the minimum funds necessary to be with them in their times of need?
Our parents lived a lifestyle so they could save for us, their children. They made many sacrifices. Was that required? Not Really. Should we give up our present day fun to provide for our children’s future? Guess Not. Do present generation parents save money to be able to provide for their children 10 years later? I donno, mabbe it’s a parental instinct?