Tuesday, June 14, 2011

5 Happy Years and Counting…

We have been married for 5 yrs as of 6/14/2011. Am excited to reach this milestone…not surprised… but excited enough to add to the regular Anniversary celebrations.

Ours was a fairly typical arranged marriage. The kind where parents checked the horoscopes, then we spent hours and days and weeks and months talking to each other, okay-ed each other, the in-laws came to “see” me and “finalize’ our marriage and that was it, then we were married. And if I may say, we didn’t start out in love with each other. I would say we were infatuated with each other. And over these 5 years have fallen in love . Touchwood!

I’d like to make 2 lists, One, our journey in the last 5 years and two, 5 things that Marriage has taught me.

Our journey together so far…

June 2006 – May 2007 : Dealing with adopting a new family to be my own, living away from each other after being married, Moving to a strange city and then a strange country, learning to cook , Learning to manage our home, Not being able to lock myself alone when mad with the other half, Getting used to being called a ‘wife’ or asked about the ‘husband’, enjoying the freedom to romance and love a man openly, yearning for someone in a way you never imagined, long drives and feeling elated ‘coz I realize that the hubby loves driving as much as the dad does….. Honestly, the 1s year was a very confusing one.
Places we were at : Bangalore, Dindigul (TN), Chennai, Kerala, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Vermont, NYC, Niagara Falls, Pittsburgh, Boston

June 2007 – May 2008 : Appreciating that I have a husband who is willing to move for my job, Enjoying time with each other, Figuring out a routine as a married couple, Trying to manage our work-related travels, Struggling to attain stability, began the ‘yearly’ holiday routine…….This was the year that we were figuring out each other and what makes things better vs worse. There were times we loved each other and at other times when we questioned the marriage.
Places we were at: Maryland, Virginia, DC, NJ, Puerto Rico, Pennsylvania, Toronto, Ontario, Montreal

June 2008 -May 2009 : Managed to start leading the life of a ‘regular’ married couple, Appreciated belonging to each other, started gaining stability in life, Did an awesome road-trip, discovered our love for nature and national parks….A good and fairly uneventful year!
Places we were at: Vermont, San Diego, Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Utah, LA

June 2009 -May 2010 : Had the in-laws visiting for 4 months, learnt that the husband will not behave differently in front of parents, in fact learnt that he will stand up for me if it comes down to that, Started getting a feel of potential life troubles heading our way, handled it very nervously……A rollercoaster year!
Places we were at: Vermont, NYC, NJ, Maine, Boston, Keywest, Miami, Orlando

June 2010 -May 2011 : The potential trouble became an actual heartache , it brought us closer than ever, We became adventurous and greedy about making the best of life, We cared lesser about the world’s opinions, became more health-conscious, Cried and laughed together a lot more often, did a 17-hour road trip and realized we’ll love to try a month-long one, figured we don’t know when we’ll get the answer to our worries, but know for sure that we will get it some day….. An eventful year!
Places we were at: Vermont, SFO, Maine, Smoky Mountains

5 Lessons that Marriage has taught me
1.As clichéd as it sounds, Marriage has taught me all that matters is that eventually we are together. It’s not that worldly worries don’t haunt me or that I welcome it with open arms..but dealing with them seems a lot easier when we have each other. The trait of ‘sense of humor’ mabbe under-rated but definitely not over-rated, it helps you get by a lot of stuff in life. If life gave me another chance, I would embrace it just the way it currently is.

2.Marriage has taught me to be less bull-headed. To be a li’l patient and to change those things about me that at one point -in-time were considered to be personality traits that one could never ever change. It has taught me that compromise is not a bad word and the importance of giving a relationship one’s best at pretty much all times.

3.Marriage has taught me that relationships need to be worked on, on a regular basis, if not day-to-day. It has taught me that each phase of a marriage poses a different type of challenge and that both the parties involved need to figure out the solution. It has taught me that what the world feels doesn’t matter as long as we both agree. It has taught me that fights are not a bad thing.

4.Marriage has taught me to look at LOVE differently. To respect and understand those who cannot say those 3 words . It has made me realize that different people have different ways of showing their love and affection and it’s up to the receiver to interpret and u’stand the way the giver chooses to give it.

5.Marriage has taught me what it is to belong to someone. It has taught me that one can be an independent woman even while the two people in the marriage are responsible for a different set of tasks and therefore dependent on each other. It has taught me to work as a team. It has helped me u’stand how two people become one.