To Have or Not To Have
A few weeks back I saw the movie Juno. I enjoyed it. For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, its about a 16-year old getting pregnant and having a baby and finally giving up the baby for adoption.
I thought it takes talent to handle such a serious subject in such a light-hearted manner. The movie was fun. The dialogues were great. The screenplay writer was a 1st timer and she was a stripper before she came into Hollywood. She won an oscar for the movie. Ellen Page rocks! She’s so cute n peppy , looks 16 yrs old and was nominated for an oscar!
If u’ve seen the Hindi movie “kya kehna” which handles the same subject..u’ll u’stand when I say this movies is sooooo much better!
One common thread of discussion that came up whoever I spoke to about the movie..is , the movie is so not to be seen by teenagers, specifically American teenagers. They’ll think life is sooo easy! Get knocked up, have ur baby (its just 9 mths of trouble) and give away the baby to someone lese. Even the way the parents’ in the movie react when their daughter tells ‘em that she is pregnant is weird! They are too cool . I can’t even imagine what my parents would have done to me if I had gone to them with this kinda news at the age of 16 when I was in class X.!
I was watching some TV show on the movie and heard that the movie was made to spread the msg that “Abortion is to be avoided. Abortion is not the only solution to teenage pregnancies. Teenage pregnancies are bad, but not end of the world. There is an alternate solution available.” So the Q for u all is: To Have or Not Have the Baby?
Yeah, abortion as such does sound wrong. Two people have sex (or a few rare cases make love) and by-mistake create a new being. As this li’l one was not a part of their plans they want to destroy the baby! Its not the baby’s fault!All Beings are created by God and it is incorrect to abort….actually KILL the baby before (s)he is born. Rite? MABBE!
Though I haven’t been thru’ it I am sure giving birth to a baby isn’t all that easy for any woman.I don't think it is essential for me to explain what a nightmare life would be if the teenage mother chooses to keep the baby. Bringing up a child is obviously not easy. I’ve heard and agree that the mother develops a unique bond with the li’l one and it won’t be so easy to give it up to some strangers or friends and carry on with life like nothing happened at the end of those 9 mths. Me thinks it would haunt a mother for a long time if not all thru’ her life .She would want to know where n how her baby is doing. But let’s assume the teenage mother doesn’t really feel that bond for the baby and is ready to give it up…
Even then, I’m pretty sure 9 months doesn’t fly by when one is pregnant. For starters ur body is going to look weird and behave weirder. Society is going to ridicule you. It won’t be as easy to go back to school/college and NORMAL life. The after-effects will remain for many years before the gurl can get back to regular living and the baby-incident fades from the minds of society. So, Abortion is the best solution. Rite? MABBE!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
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33 comments:
Well, even i saw the movie few weeks back, a movie which will be a complete flop show in India, or exceptional cases may be multiplexes where all the modern thinkers (so called) come with their modern dresses, the only thing which dont grow for them is their mind... :P
and yes, i liked kya kehna too, though the theme was different, it was about a single mother, who fights with the society!!!
I respect every woman who has the courage of even thinking of carrying a baby in her womb, the amount of pain she bear, which translates into love forever, she gives to her child.
//Society is going to ridicule you. It won’t be as easy to go back to school/college and NORMAL life. The after-effects will remain for many years before the gurl can get back to regular living and the baby-incident fades from the minds of society. So, Abortion is the best solution. Rite? MABBE!//
but for how long??? how long u r gonna take tat, isnt tat ur wish, if u wanna keep tat baby or not, but for society u cant drop tat...
and it makes me wonder, (recently i read ur comment in the story that solitaire wrote abt sibling relations and i followed u from there) that r u the same person??? who says that wen the society will start accepting, may be i will be the last one there, but i wont be the last here, accepting this.
A baby is a true gift to you, your motherhood... and i dont want to sound like a man who thinks woman are here only to deliver babies... but yes, its a wonderful gesture to show the world, what u r capable of, man cant do it!!!
Im dun really support Abortion but it's really upto each individual. Cos each woman's case and circumstances are different and we as the society should never judge. Cos none of us know what it is to be in each woman's situation.
Keshi.
**I really dun
to have a abortion or not is completely an individuals choice i guess... But well it takes guts to endure those 9 months.. more soo if ur 16 and not married... in that case abortion may be the best solutin
at that point u are in lose lose situations.. it only depends the individuals who is suffering with that.... i feel..and decides which side to lose....
-amit
Do the sperm and the ovum have life? Dont we shed them without a thought? Why is it that when the two fuse and form an embryo it becomes life? Is not every cell in the human body including sperm and ovum life? Who defined life? The Vatican? What if the girl takes the "morning after pill" Would you call it contraception or abortion? No one knows for sure. It could be either or totally superfluous if fertilisation has not taken place. If God has created life and we have no right to take it ( to wit, abolition of capital punishment in many countries) why is it that we dont blink while killing a chicken or goat and eating flesh? Or if you are a vegetarian when you imbibe millions of living organisms(lactobacilli) in your yoghurt? Or swat a fly or snuff the life out of a cockroach.
I really donot know if this is ethics or morality or religion or whatever. We are all hypocrites. Recently I was shocked to learn from an Orkut friend who lives in US that female infanticide is as common there as in India. Especially among unwed mothers who think that a girl child will get into trouble and have teenage pregnancy and will be a nuisance when she grows up. So they abort after sonography. And we blame only the Indian women ( or their hubbies or in-laws)
I am in favour of ending teenage pregnancies ( of unwed girls) by abortion rather than pay the social, economic and emotional costs at that young age.
You brought up the most sensitive topic... its like one of those...of...
To Be or Not to Be ... Types.
If you ask me personally, It should be a personal choice... one needs to be very prepared to bring a life in the world... It can't be "OOPS" its okay type of situation... It certainly demands responsibility.
@ All : i u'stand that most of u think it is that individual's choice. The choice to have or not have the baby could belong to the 16 yr old...but i feel she needs guidance n advise.
Also..i'm just trying to gather YOUR opinion on abortion.
Will respond to each of ur comments in detail, later.Thanks to all my new visitors for stopping by.
it is definitely a personal choice (many different reasons for aborting...baby might have one of those crippling diseases, could be a result of rape, whatever, many reasons for keeping it and giving it up for adoption too!)
Bottomline is whatever option is chosen, it will haunt the mother...for life. I mean, come on, most of us can't even forget our first serious "crush" or "love" or whatever if we don't really end up with them. The "what-if" always haunts us. So it is with this thing too. There is no getting over it.
this is a sensitive issue - personally i support abortion - because it is only (i know these months are tough - just to stress the poit) 9 months for the mother but a lifetime for that kid -
but that is again if we look at it from a people like us who are aware of the consequences to an extent.
if that girl who is among people who really dont understand the depth of this - she is not going to be ever aware.....
havent watched the movie - will do.
have heard abt...tried to watch it also but felt bored in the middle...will watch it now!....
Nuff has been already said, and I feel too lazy to jot down my points, so I'd just say I loooooooveeee the movie. :)
I started to write a long comment here. But since this topic was something that I always wanted to post my views on, I decided to create a new post on my blog. Hope you dont mind .. and thanks for the inspiration :)
To answer your question .. that Mabbe is a very big MABBE and unfortunately, you will find no easy answers.
My personal belief is that abortion is the process of ending a life. Now that may be justified in certain circumstances. And that justification is an individual choice.
Also, I was reading thru some of the comments, and my take on them is .. lets not muddy the discussion by talking about other related but peripheral issues. Animal rights, vegetarianism, female infanticide being rampant in certain countries are all important topics but thats not what this post is about.
In addition, the movie described here is one kind of situation (of an underage 16 yr old). We have to look at the broad spectrum of abortion situations out there before we can say which side we lean towards.
I did see Juno. I believe that pregnancy has serious psychological effect on the mother and personally would like to thump Ellen Page for making it look so easy. Its not. A friend of mine nearly died when she delivered her baby at 19. And having it was a difficult task.
@ Ankur : Thanks for ur long comment.
Kya kehna was made melodramatic for the sake of it i my opinion.
I appreciate that u respect every woman.
Having a baby is a true gift yeah and bringing up the baby, ensuring that it has a home and the right enviroment to grow in is a bigger challenge!Society is just 1 of the reasons i mentioned.n how muchever we all choose to live our own lives we cant deny the influence society has on us. That apart, U think a 16 yr old has the expertize to take care of n raise another human on this planet?
@keshi : u dont support abortion irrespective of the situation the woman/girl gets pregnant in?U don't feel that the period after the 9 mths, he future should be considered while making the big decision of bringing another life onto this planet?
@Samby : Mabbe i agree with u
@amit : yes, it is a shitty situation to be in..n abortion mabbe a way to turn it from lose-lose into sumthing else?
@vasanth : u have mentioned a wide range of topics :
Honestly..im a veggie and i know plants are living beings, but coz they don't move and talk..i think its easier to kill 'em vs killing animals. It just the way i feel and not essentially correct. n similarly im sure most people will not feel that killing animals is the same as killing a human.
Rgdg female infanticide : i'm honestly surprised. i didn't know it was prelevant in the west.
Now abt the topic..."teenage pregnancies" is not the same as "unwed girls". A girl could be unwed at 28 and get pregnant.At the age of 28 if she is financially independent and a whole bunch of other things..she mite actually be able to raise a baby, rite?
@ neeku : yes it is a v. sensitive topic!Very Touchy!
@Aneri : I'm glad u brought up the topic abt it haunting the mother..none of thee men here seemed to take note of that.
@Ceedy : Exactly, its a lifetime for the kid and like aneri mentions mabbe a lifetime even for the mother
@brocasarea : yeah, try watch it..its fun, but lifez not that simple in reality!
@Rohit : haha..I u'stand :-)
@Cosmic : I feel in each situaution (teenage pregnancy, unplanned child, knowing the child will have a physical deformity when born etc etc etc) the decision rgdg abortion should be different.
Will wait for ur post to comment on it :-)
@panu : ahhh...i so know wat u mean when u say u want to thumpp ellen page..lol!n yeah i know sum1 v.v.close to me who has gone thru' this @ the age of 18...n i know xactly wat ur saying.
Thanks for visiting
yes, i agree it was melodramatic, but sometimes u need to do propaganda for good!!!
**Having a baby is a true gift yeah and bringing up the baby, ensuring that it has a home and the right enviroment to grow in is a bigger challenge!Society is just 1 of the reasons i mentioned.n how muchever we all choose to live our own lives we cant deny the influence society has on us. That apart, U think a 16 yr old has the expertize to take care of n raise another human on this planet?
well, i agree with wat u say, i just wanna say, that y to accept it coz of society, if its ur will, then i have no issues, but because others force u do so!!! if the reason is personal, then i dont mind it, and i dont wanna know, may be out of fun it came, so u wanna drop it... everythings fine, but reasons which are external... if they make u then i m against abortions.
Second, the reason u r talkin of are generally there abt 1%, otherwise abortions takes places coz u cant bear the brunt of upbrining a child without telling the society who the father is, y premarital sex and all such things...
i am in no way disagreeing with wat u say, but i m just putting and additional line with it. :)
Thnxxx
** Nice one..
I dont think abortion is right. I feel its a crime. When its known that sex leads to pregnancy, why not be careful at first. When its done without thinking twice.. then consequence has to be faced.
You might say, it was a mistake she made which created a new being. Lets take example of a crime , such as a rape or a murder, which can be committed due to a 'mistake' or rather natural human feelings of lust or anger or jealousy. That could be a mistake too, but will this mistake be pardoned and the consequences of a punishment or imprisonment not be levied. I dont think so. Abortion is a crime ! :)
u r partially right and partially wrong. most of the reasons were same as those expressed by the above people.
bought JUNO a couple of weeks back but never finding time to watch it.... :(
reminds me of that preity zinta movie..which was quite bold for the indian society.
About abortion..each to his own. If one has a baby and is unable to provide good emotional or physical nutrition to the child then there is no point spoiling the child's life. Also in cases of Down's syndrome and other such illnesses, it would be better to get an adoption rather than bring the child into a world that may be hard!!
and all those men who say abortion is not right..I say they dont have as much right as the woman to express their opinions about it..
@solitaire - I am not sure what you mean by "as much right as the woman to express their opinions".
I do not deny the important role a woman plays right from conception thru the upbringing of the child. But both woman and man have their biological roles to play during conception. You really cannot have a baby without the egg from the mother and the sperm from the father. That is how nature intended it to be. But that does not mean a man should have secondary choice. This is especially true in cases where the man and woman are married. To say that ending the conception should totally be a woman's choice primarily is not right.
@Mush : OMG!u call an abortion(irrespective of the situation) a CRIME? hmmmm....
@Satish : ur comment confused me! now which part do u think is right and which part do u think is wrong?
or are u saying "its all been discussed in the above comments" ?
@Solitaire: Kya Kehna is the preit zinta movie.
yes..in some situations..i feel abortion is the best option.
n yeah ..thanks for dropping by :)
@Cosmic..thot i'll leave solitaire to ans ur Q.but i wntd to add my bit..
Whn many ppl responded saying "its the INDIVIDUAL's choice" i was honestly surprised. My post stressed mainly on teenage pregnancy..n i don't think a 16 yr old should be allowed to make this decision alone. This may sound crude..but if that 16-yr old was mature enuf to make this decision..then she wldn't have got herself into this situation in the 1st place(excepting situations like rape)
But if its a 28 yr old unmarried girl..i think she has the right to take this decision alone, by herself.
In case of Married women..i strongly feel it should be a decision of the couple and not just 1 person.
well, let me b clear in this comment. i re-read ur post again before commenting. if v r talking abt a single mother, then abortion is the best option, if she feels that she's going to spoil her life by bringing up the child.
but if v r talking abt an unwed couple, then abortion may not b the right idea. they have the support of each other, even if everyone leaves them.
@ Cosmic, I did not say TOTALLY NO CHOICE. I said "not as much choice". True that the sperm is required. But if the biological health of the mother is not right, if the mother is unable to care for the child as in the case of a planned pregnancy, then there is nothing that a father can do about it. And I have personally seen many cases where the biological father has vanished after a baby's birth despite promises to the mother before the baby was born. Therefore, if ultimately, prenatal and post natal care falls in the hands of the woman, the woman definitely has MORE choice than the man.
I hope that it is clear that I am talking about unplanned pregnancies out of wedlock, and not married couples here.
Pavi - You are right. And apologies for this tug-o-comments on your blog :)
Solitaire - The situations you point out are exceptions in my view, and maybe they are the norm in your view. Either ways, under these situations, I agree with you about women having more of a say. I just didnt want that to be true for all situations.
@ Satish. I agree with u and the unmarried mother will mostly choose abortion not only 'coz she doesnt want to spoil her life, but also 'coz she is not sure she can give her baby the best life.
@Cosmic. No apologies are reqd. Its nice to get different perspectives.
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