Monday, April 21, 2008

Discrimination

This post does not intend to offend to anyone.

I love my country. I really do. N I absolutely adore Bangalore. After all home is where the heart is!

N Being away from India for the last 1 yr….has made it possible for me to point out the specifics of what I really like about India and Indians and the things which really annoy me.

Being in the USA…I really yearn for some “Indian stuff”. Like while in India I would not crave Indian food but now I do. I would not get excited about huge get-togethers at home, but now I look forward to it. I was not into watching too many Indian movies, but now I kinda do. I had stopped watching cricket after the match-fixing controversy, but now I’m following the IPL matches pretty closely! I love meeting fellow Indians n talking a dozen about India n this n that …

‘Coz of some experiences I feel I Indians are the biggest discriminators I’ve come across….I’ve listed below some of these experiences and u can feel free to share ur experience.

- During my 1st few weeks in the US, I realized the culture here is to say “Hello , How r u”…to pretty much any1 who crosses ur way. N even back in India I used to keep smiling at strangers..There it was a kind of problem, Here it wasn’t and so I was more than happy to smile at any1 and every1. Now, most Indians have seem to hv learnt this culture. But the problem is they practice it with only the phirangis..not other “fellow” Indians. I don’t get it! What is their problem in smiling at Indians?!?!

- My hubby’s office has mostly Telugu- speaking people. They speak to each other in their language knowing very well that some ppl don’t u’stand it. They don’t care about it and I believe scream across the office to each other in Telugu. Even the Americans don’t like it. All the Telugu-ites lunch together and my hubby is not welcome to this daily lunch routine of theirs. And there have been a few parties to which only he was not invited coz hes not telugu-speaking! Not like he cares! But I find it ridiculous!

- On Jan 1st….we had gone to the temple. It’s a routine..I follow every yr. So while we were eating the yummy food at the temple.. there was this girl n 2 guys sitting opposite us. She was talking in Tamil about some friend of hers (From her conversation I gathered shez from Chennai) n she tells the guys ..”Yeah X is like tht..anywez wat else can u expect from Blr n pune gurls..All of ‘em drink n smoke”! I could have slapped her, really! Not coz I care abt wat she thinks but coz shes sitting in a temple and b***h-ing shamelessly! I think drinking n smoking is okay…but not wat she was doing!

Back in India I hear

- Karnataka and Tamil Nadu continue to fight over water (They have been fighting over it on n off for the last n years!). It won’t take more than a day in Blr for u to realize that Blr has very few kannadigas. The place has Tamils, North-Indians, ppl from Nepal, the north-east and wat not. So the kannadigas(Not all. Mostly the politicians and a few jobless ppl) got insecure. They got smart and said that movies of any other language will be released only 1 mth after its release in the rest of India. They were trying to make ppl watch Kannada movies…For heavensake! Obviously it din’t work. If they send non-kannadigas out of Blr….there won’t be any Blr!

- Shiv sena is trying similar stuff in Mumbai. My friend retaliates…If there were no Gujjus , Mumbai would have no money! I can’t help feeling sad!

These people have truly lost it! Sense of humor is okay…But I’m tired of hearing abt north-Indian(NI), south-Indian(SI). 2 people (1 my friend) who were roomies were arguing…I don’t like NI..coz they eat only roti! The other one says I don’t like SI coz they eat too much rice! Phew! Why can’t people eat what they want and stop categorizing according to language n state!

Isn't Unity in Diversity suppose to be a matter of pride for India?

If each one of us start truly n honestly reflecting on our behavior…we’ll realize, that probably we also discriminate. Sometimes in a subtle manner and at other times quite obviously! Being affectionate towards out hometown, the place we grew up, our mother-tongue is not wrong. But ridiculing all else is most definitely not Right!

I feel sad to say Indians are indeed the biggest Discriminators I’ve come across!

29 comments:

aMus said...

aww..u seem really pissed off!!!

and the discrimination is why you have a godhra...

and i totally agree with yearning for all things indian when abroad...
its like you only know the value of something when it is no longer within your reach...

:)

Keshi said...

Amen to this post!

I agree with every word u said here Pavi. I hv lived both in Sri Lanka and in Aus, and associated ppl from all walks of life. So I can honestly say that wut u said is all so true!

Our ppl think one thing, say another and do altogether a different thing. Talk abt biased ppl! And abt being judgemental, we top the list.


Keshi.

Solitaire said...

Well-said!!

In the US, people are continuously talking about how they are discriminated against, how they are minorities, and how Whites are given preference. They do not realize, they do the same thing within their own community!!

Don't we hear stereotypical judgments all the time?
Gujjus are too money-minded.
Marwaris are too stingy.
Punjabis are show-offs.
Telugus are cliquish.
Bengalis are smelly.
Bangaloreans are drunkards.

Agreed there might be just a small grain of truth to these stereotypes (or they would not have existed in the first place) but sometimes we should live and let live.

Ankur said...

absolutely true, u know i was really upset when things went all wrong in Mumbai, i belong to Jaipur and i was confused, whether i am an Indian citizen or just a citizen of Jaipur...

I no doubt cherish my birthplace, my hometown, but i also remember the concept of a nation. A nation where similar ppl live.

How can we be divided on such a pity issue, which is given a name "Son of Soil!!!!" i wonder...

the day isnt far when Raj Thackery himself will be thrown out of mumbai coz he is not from there... wat then??? i guess we r shrinking ourselves, tats it... the height of individualism... gosh!!!

i think we r too free to think all this, fight with our own ppl, in our own brotherhood... i can see a day sooner than later when we will need a passport to cross a particular lane :(

and its just not we Indians but... :)

Cheers!!!

Ankur said...

n ask the ppl who say pune n blore girls r drunkyards... that most ppl who drink dont even belong to this town, they all r here to earn their share of pie... then y these towns are blamed????

its easy to blame, always!!!

Cheers!!!

Gunjan Aylawadi said...

well...not all indians are like that!!
u are an indian...are u like that??
i am one...but i dont discriminate!!
y generalize??

Lena said...

well... i guess everyone can say similar things about the country they live in especially when the country consists of different states and has lots of local languages. There always will be this discrimination problem unless the minds of people change.
Unfortunately, thats really tough because it means compromising and people dont like it. **sigh**

Anonymous said...

yes....as i hve already said in my post about racism n all....i agree with every word u say here...speacill the hello thingy

--xh-- said...

agree to most of what yu have said... discrimination - well, that is smething real which we face but dont realise.. @ blr, we do face it at times coz we are not from blr... the ganging up of ppl who speak same language.. it happends in india too...
some nic epoints, mate...

ceedy said...

wow - that was a very well written post

this you experienced in one year - multiply that by 10....

this is one very important thing i learnt being here is pride for ones country - it is america and americans no matter what the policy or result or outcome

back home we are states or cities....

i guess the british divide stuck on rule went away.

the thing you said about telegus - i can tell you from my experience - have been with germans, polish, spanish, italians, chinese, portuguese and many of them are more comfortable to speak the mother tongue when in a group so i think it is a global phenonmenon not just india
good insightful post

thansk

Cinderella said...

I agree to the every word here girl.
At times I feel times are changing, then i fell i dunno....

Peace for all.

Pavi!!!! said...

@Suma : Hmmm,pissed off..not really. This is hard reality!
Wats godhra??
yeah we realize the value of things n ppl only whn they are gone

@Keshi: yup. Ppl lie coz they are scared to say the truth or want to sound cool ! n so true abt judgemental

@Sol : Thnx for making time to comment on this. yeah, i like the way u said there mite be a small grain of truth, but ppl shld stop judging every1 on the same basis.

Pavi!!!! said...

@Ankur..yup its not only we indians...but we go to some extremes at times. n yup its easy to point fingers..but generalizing beyond a point is unfair!

@Gunj : From ur reaction i feel u've not come across many ppl who discriminate. n am very glad abt that.
u know mabbe when i was in blr, i would hv reacted the same way as u.That only politicians create all the havoc n the civilians are not like that.
But once im out into the world..i've come across far too many indians who show such behavior. I'm not saying all indians are like tht. But MANY MANY are!

Pavi!!!! said...

@Lena Yup, im not sure how much compromise is needed to ot discriminate..like Sol said..its abt living and letting live!

@Samby : Yup !

@Ceedy. Thnx. n im scared to multiply that by 10..Can't blv it can get worse!
U brought up 2 points tht i didn't think of...
Americans being one ctry. Here i've noticed almost every state n city is developed not just the capital of the state. How many ppl(who dont care abt GK) would know/guess that Albany is the capital of NY and not NYC.
N yes, i think its the British Divide and Rule policy that has unfortunately stuck on.

I don't mind ppl talking their mother tongue whn in a group. But when there are others who don't know the lang splly in office mtgs...i feel common-sense shld tell them that they have to speak in the common lang.

Pavi!!!! said...

@cindrella : Ditto! i so often think the world has changed...for the better...n then im disproved!:(

aneri_masi said...

pavi, suma is mentioning the massacre in Godhra, happened in Gujarat. google it...

rayshma said...

i hate discrimination. of any kind. against anyone. but i dunno if i agree that indians discriminate the most. maybe we know of it *and such folks* coz we are indians. i mean, i've heard some americans discriminate quite a bit too... be it with mexicans, arabs, indians or african americans...

Satish Bolla said...

a nice post. pretty similar to the thoughts n feelings of all the NRIs. i agree with almost all the post but coming to the telugu part, u'll find many other people like that. am not telling this because am frm andhra.
i saw my colleagues carrying on an entire meeting in arabic even though i can't understand a single word of it. yet i was supposed to b present thru out the meeting. i've friends who talk in tamil among themselves when we go out for a movie or a drink. human psychology is like that...
coming to the debate abt NIs and SI's, india has everything except unity. wht can v do if v don't have unity in a 11-member cricket team.......

P said...

I totally agree. We are all nice to non-Indians but we discriminate among ourselves.
In our small university town there are groups like Tamilian group from Chennai, Tamilian group from Mumbai, Bengali group, Gujarati group etc etc. I get invited to one group's parties even though I have nothing common with them other than language and city. I don't get invited to the other group's parties even if it is given by someone whom I let stay with me during her first few days here and helped settle down in the new place!
We indeed are a strange bunch :)

cm chap said...

Excellent take on the reality.... Its high time we come together and put down this silly politics

Karthik S said...

I haven't experienced any discrimination(never been to any other countries) but, i'm getting sick when people judge others based on their race, place of birth.

Very well written. I agree every word you put here.

Cheers :-)

Pavi!!!! said...

@Aneri : Thnx for the info. OMG! thats horrible. Its so saddening :(

@Ray Ray : Mabbe ur rite, but have u heard of mexicans, americans or african americans discriminate people within thier own community?
I hvn't.

@Satish I agree. The groupism can happen irrespecive of the lanuguage. It could be tamil, Hindu, Malyalam, gujju...
Infact the way i grew up i spoke very less tamil (my mother tongue) and was more comfortable speaking Eng. In office a gang of ppl wld speak in Tamil all the time n when i replied in Eng would think im a snob n show-off. But i wasn't. Eng is the lang I think in.

Pavi!!!! said...

@P : Yeah, very unfortunate!

@CM-Chap : Thanks. Oh well, wishful thinking!i dont see this prob getting sorted soon!

@Kartik : Thnx. Glad u hvnt met discriminating ppl in ur life. Hope u never do!

Neetal said...

I agree... with you completely...Don't know why ... are not people aware of it... and just quit ....

rayshma said...

umm.. yeah. i had a dutch colleague who was quite anti some dutch folks who were different from him. haven't been close to any other firangs.. so dunno.
also, race is to them what "caste/religion" is to us indians. but yes, it does piss me off when i hear people make generalized statements...

Cosmic Joy said...

I totally agree with your views in this post. It is wrong to generalize and categorize people based on their language, state or even country.

Ironically, you have fallen victim to the same when you generalized "Indians" as discriminators :)

busy-writer said...

Loved the post! so terribly true.. i HATE, DETEST,*insert every other synonym of hate* descrimation too. tis sick how people can be biased cause of some weird stuff like caste (the whole idea of "Caste" n all..i totally find pathetic)... you knw wot, fine..sum people have gotten over the whole being-biased..but what are they doin to tell the others? have you watched star plus seriels? tis crazy...demented. full of 'gora'.. 'savli'.. all the crap. sheesh.
yuck yuck is all i can say.

Pavi!!!! said...

@Neeku..Some ppl are aware n discriminate intentionally..some don't even realize while discriminating.

@Ray Ray:I get ur point. n I'm sorry abt generalizing..just cldnt help it.But i don't think ALL indians are like that...a majority are.


@Cosmic: True, unfortunately..i mabbe have fallen victim..Guess i was v.v.v annoyed.Sorry! But i don't think ALL indians are like that...a majority are.

@Busywriter:Thnx..its SAD n REAL..this discrimination crap!

Anonymous said...

Pavi...I think I can write a really big article and post on the related topic. particularly about almost always being in and around groups of people who share that language-culture bond and am the only one out.
Most part of my life i've been in such situation....and it's very normal for me to be in a group and 'not understand' the conversation at all.
And yea...it's very brave and good about you to write stuff upfront and involve people in discussion...like that approach!!
- Karma